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Warning: Contains Boy's Love and vulgar language.

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Chapter 5: Downpour


Cameron had always thought that it was funny how the weather could always seem to reflect a person’s inner most feelings at certain moments in life. While rain was usually just rain, the heavy shower felt more than appropriate for their current situation. He wondered whether Elliot felt as dreary as it looked outside of the car. The sky was so dark and the rain fell so steadily…it didn’t seem like it planned to stop any time soon, not with the way the raindrops bounced off of the paved roads and collected in large numerous puddles along the sides of the road. A stop sign appeared ahead and Cameron slowed the car to a gradual stop, allowing a pedestrian off to the side to rush across underneath their dark blue umbrella. Out of the corner of his eye, Cameron watched Elliot stare vacantly ahead at the windshield wipers that swept away at the veil of water that refused to leave.

“So…” Cameron drawled, rapping his fingertips against the steering wheel. As much as he suspected that Elliot wanted silence, he couldn’t bear for the quietness to drag on and on like this with nothing but the gentle hum of the car and the steady pitter-patter of the rain in the background. The silence was almost painful. “…Damn, this is awkward.”

“Only because you had to point it out,” Elliot mumbled irritably, which sadly enough was better than nothing. It had been the first thing he’d said since he had demanded for Cameron to take him away from home. Despite the hostility in Elliot’s voice, the prickly comment was better then nothing. At least he was talking—sort of. Elliot had been quiet the whole time to the point that it was almost worrisome to wonder about what was going on in the guy’s head.

“It’d been awkward anyway,” Cameron retorted as he squinted his eyes a bit, wishing that the rain wasn’t so thick and heavy. Was the rain getting worse? Damn. He didn’t know how much farther he could drive before it would get too difficult to even see where he was going.

“Hmpf,” Elliot grunted his response, not bothering with words anymore. Cameron began to tap his fingertips on the steering wheel again, this time with a nervous energy. Shit, did he just make things worse? Was Elliot in an even worse mood now? Was that even possible? Either way, he couldn’t tell; Elliot still looked the same from earlier: frustrated and grumpy.

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous,” Cameron sighed, shaking some of his rusty orange hair out of his face. “We’ve been driving around aimlessly for about an hour. Is there any place you want to go? The weather’s getting worse and I’m not really in the mood for getting into an accident.”

“Anywhere. I don’t care.”

“Oh. Great,” Cameron groaned. This was going nowhere. The image of their car flying dramatically off a cliff and into an ocean, like in an over-hyped drama movie, flashed in Cameron’s head, followed by the vivid image of his father yelling at his grave about the cost of the car damages. “‘Anywhere’ is a little too vague, Elliot. Does ‘anywhere’ have a specific point, or route, or something?”

Elliot turned and frowned at Cameron, looking extremely offended by the semi-sarcastic comment. Cameron smiled back, hoping that lessened the hostility level in the car. Much to Cameron’s surprise, Elliot just turned away and fell back into his grouchy silence.

“Thanks for the help,” Cameron mumbled. It was getting hard to stay optimistic about things when the weather and the guy sitting next to him were being anything but cheerful. He reconsidered his earlier thought; maybe it wasn’t the weather reflecting the mood, but the mood being affected by the rain…

Up ahead, Cameron could just barely make out the faint outline and dim lights of a chain-gas station through the heavy mist and rain. Well, that was better than nothing. The rain was certainly getting worse. Driving could almost be considered suicidal.

He pulled the car up into the parking lot beside the gas station, parked it, and for dramatic effect (and to lighten the tense mood) he exhaled heftily as if he had just ran marathon that required a good long rest. “Well, that was certainly fun.” He turned and faced Elliot, smiling at the other’s obvious discontent with his out of place enthusiasm. “Like it or not, we’re pretty much stuck here for the next little while. The weather’s too bad for driving, and I really value my life, so…”

“Yeah, yeah. I get the picture,” Elliot muttered. He peered out the window, though not much could be seen through the water that slid down the glass and blurred the world on the outside. It all seemed like a huge, grayish-blue world on the outside, but for the few misty yellow lights emitted from the gas station. “Just where exactly are we?”

Cameron undid his seatbelt and leaned back in his seat, relaxing as best as he could. While his car was indeed a little on the disorganized side, he rather liked the unpredictability of it. He liked the leather seats that were easy to settle into, even if they were just a menace with skin during the summer or useless in terms of warmth during the winter. “I’d say about ten miles out of town.”

“Ten miles?”

“Does the number ten that bother you?”

“No,” Elliot said with a shake of his head. “Just…why ten miles? Why out of town at all? This just seems a little too random.”

The freckled-boy shrugged nonchalantly. “This whole day has been random.” He rested his head back against his seat and stared out of his blurry window. “As for ten miles…I don’t know. You said ‘drive’, but you never actually pinpointed a destination, so I just went with the flow. And now we’re stuck here.” He laughed a little, suddenly finding the whole situation just absolutely ludicrous now that he had said it all aloud. When Elliot went quiet, Cameron suddenly began to feel a little nervous. Had he done something wrong again? He rubbed the back of his neck and hoped that wasn’t the case. “Sorry?”

Elliot shook his head again and went back to staring out his own window. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

Cameron had to pause a moment to register that. Where was the infuriated frown? The displeased scowl? Or even a seething stare? A blank stare didn’t quite suit someone as fiery tempered and passionate as Elliot. A blank stare was too…neutral. The moment didn’t seem complete without one of Elliot’s expected outbursts at the absurdity of things. It was Cameron’s turn to lightly frown. For Elliot to act so unlike himself, something had to be really bothering him. But what was it? He had seen Elliot literally freak over seemingly nothing, but this reaction was like the polar opposite. What made him so still and pensive, with only a touch of his normal irritableness?

Shit. Now he had to know, and Cameron had the feeling that this would be one of those things that’d nag at the back of his mind until he found an answer.

“Hey Elliot?”

Elliot mumbled in a voice that sounded just about as cheerful as the heavy and depressing rain shower outside of the car, “What?”

“Out of curiosity—” Elliot turned and raised an eyebrow at Cameron, already not liking where this was going, but the hungry curiosity wouldn’t let Cameron stop until he had asked, “—Why did you randomly flip out and make me drive you around after I drove you home?”

“Hmpf.” Elliot stared at Cameron as if he were the most peculiar thing he had ever seen. “No reason.”

“Liar,” Cameron huffed. Why couldn’t Elliot just spit the answer out? “There had to have been a reason.”

“Well, there wasn’t,” Elliot insisted, seemingly irked by Cameron’s persistence.

But the dishonest answer didn’t satisfy his intense inquiring. Cameron could only shake his head with disbelief; he refused to accept that answer. No matter what Elliot thought of him, he wasn’t an idiot. How could anyone seriously look at Elliot, witness that whole scene, and believe him when he claimed that this whole display was over ‘nothing’. “You seriously expect me to believe that? When you had that weird look on your face when you got back into my car, and—”

“Cameron,” Elliot interrupted rigidly. There was something in the tone that made Cameron immediately hush up at its warning. He watched with wide and startled eyes as in one fluid motion, Elliot leaned over in his seat, one hand reaching out and resting itself on Cameron’s seat to help hold him up. He stared intensely into Cameron’s blue-green eyes, suddenly reminding him of a predatory lion. “I appreciate that you’ve willingly driven me around. I honestly do, and I will find a way to repay you somehow to make up for the trouble I’ve probably caused you. But,” he raised a finger with his free hand, like some scolding adult who had had enough of a troublesome and naïve child, “I don’t appreciate you being so nosy.”

Cameron gulped, only too aware of how cornered he was, and in his own car! He couldn’t pull his eyes away from Elliot’s all encompassing gaze, no matter how much his heart beat quickened and thundered loudly in his own ears. Was this how a bird felt, staring up into the sly cat’s patient and ravenous eyes, before he was inevitably consumed?

Elliot gradually moved back into his own seat, his eyes never once leaving the freckled-boys’, as if subconsciously aware of the odd dominating effect he had on him. And just as slowly, Cameron remembered to breathe and did so, wishing that he didn’t feel so weird after having Elliot so close to him. What was this effect the other had on him…?

Cameron averted his eyes elsewhere as he heard soft ruffles of clothes against leather as Elliot tried to relax as best as he could in his seat. He didn’t want to look at Elliot when he was having such trying thoughts. It seemed…wrong, in a sense. Embarrassing, and even a little unfair.

“I’m getting a little hungry,” The blond-haired boy muttered. Cameron heard him digging through his pocket and pull out his wallet. He didn’t seem to notice how tense and nervous Cameron was beginning to feel, now that it had finally caught up and settled in that Elliot was in his car—beside him—by his own choice. “I’m going to go inside and get something. Do you want anything?”

“Huh…?” God, that had to be the most intelligent thing he’d said all day. Bravo, Cameron. Bravo, his mind chastised.

“I said,” Elliot repeated impatiently, “that I’m going inside to go get something to eat. Do you want anything? You know, as payment for driving me around.”

Cameron tensed for a moment. “Payment?”

“Yes.” Elliot crossed his arms indignantly. “Something wrong with that?”

“No!” Cameron hastily blurted out. “Just seems a little weird, I guess.”

“It’s weird to repay someone for a favor?” Elliot huffed, both frustrated and bewildered. “Or is it weird that I’m repaying you?”

“Well, yes. A little,” The freckled boy admitted, inwardly flinching at Elliot’s expected reaction. “I know you don’t even relatively like me…so why bother?”

Elliot huffed again. “Because it’s the right thing to do. I hate taking advantage of people. Doesn’t matter whether I like them or not. It’s unjust.”

“Oh.” Hearing something so noble sounding come from someone like Elliot seemed fitting somehow. As temperamental and stubborn as Elliot appeared on the outside, he certainly did have a generous side. The thought of a nice side to Elliot made Cameron smile. “I see what you mean. Thanks, but I don’t really want anything.” He felt embarrassed by the previous gesture now, but also flattered. A nice side to Elliot…how cute.

Elliot shrugged indifferently, then went to undo his seat belt when an instinct took over and Cameron abruptly grabbed his arm, halting Elliot’s actions. Elliot stared at him, and Cameron inevitably found himself inwardly flustered again and just as confused as Elliot probably was. Cameron mentally scolded himself. Why had he done that? Sometimes, impulsiveness did not always work in his favor.

When Cameron didn’t say anything, Elliot rolled his eyes and motioned for him to explain himself. “Something wrong?”

“I-It’s…it’s raining!” Cameron blurted out the first thought that came to mind. He wanted to smack himself for the blunt stupidity of his answer. ‘It’s raining’? Ugh! Smooth, Cameron. Smooth.

Elliot turned and looked out his window. “Oh! What do you know? It is.” He turned back and stared at Cameron bemusedly. “I had no idea. Thanks for pointing that out.”

“N-No…that’s not what I meant,” Cameron blurted out again. How could he have said something so pathetic? And in front of someone like Elliot, who was so self-assured and self-driven to the point that so many people respected his personal strength and drive. He hoped that his next words would be less humiliating. “I meant…it’s wet out!”

Well, one can always dream.

Elliot leaned back in his seat. Some of his dirty-blond hair fell across his face at the movement, and his stare became apprehensive. “…Are you on something?”

“No…no, no, no, no.” Cameron leaned back, pulling his hand away from Elliot’s arm as if burned by the body heat of the other. His hands gripped his knees and squeezed. This was not going as one might have hoped. “What I meant was that you’d get wet out there.”

“So?”

“So…let me go get some food for you.” Cameron finally pieced something together. Whether or not his personal sense of dignity was still intact was another question altogether. “Just stay here and I’ll go get what ever you want for you.”

Elliot opened his mouth as if to reject the offer, but he stopped himself and actually seemed to consider the proposal. As he did so, Cameron sat patiently and drummed his fingers on his knees. Why had he grabbed him and offered to go get food for him? What had he been thinking? Or maybe that was the problem—he hadn’t been thinking. Something inside of him had just jolted and his body had moved of its own accord. It didn’t make sense. But, as he reminded himself, this wasn’t the end of the world. Elliot had pointed out that he was being nosy…and obviously, that was the last thing Elliot wanted right now, someone prying into his life without his consent. Maybe this way he could make it up to him, and possibly show Elliot that he wasn’t such a bad guy?

Elliot still hadn’t answered yet. Cameron inwardly sighed, wishing he didn’t feel so nervous around Elliot, especially when he quietly sat there, pondering himself. Anxiety was never a pleasant feeling. Anxiety was a feeling that came in many shapes and forms, and Cameron could never really tell what sort of anxiety he felt for whatever reason, even if the reason was completely unfounded or was of a foolish nature. While he certainly hadn’t a clue as to why he felt so jumpy and out of his element around Elliot, he knew that this anxiety was of a giddy and energetic nature…a possible form of twisted excitement?

“All right,” Elliot conceded. His fingers parted the slots of his open wallet and he gracefully pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, then slid it into Cameron’s hands just as nimbly. “Buy whatever looks good—and something for yourself, if you change your mind.”

Cameron smiled. “Nah, that’s okay.” His fingers closed around the money and he leaned up in his seat, shoving the money into his pocket as some sort of means of protection from the drenching rain. Before Elliot could possibly make a protest, though deep inside Cameron wasn’t really sure whether Elliot would argue over the offer or not, Cameron opened the car door and got out. Closing the door quickly behind him, he broke into a half-jog to the gas station. He hadn’t have been out in the rain for any longer than fifteen seconds, but by the time he got inside of the gas station, he was already practically half-soaked. He shivered as a chill went through his body, and walked further inside the store, giving a small nod and a smile to the woman behind the counter who just barely acknowledged his presence.

Cameron walked down a few of the aisles, quickly taking in all that the store had to offer. After staring at the shelves for a good long minute, it occurred to him that he had no clue what Elliot liked in terms of food.

“Crap,” he mumbled, teeth chattering slightly. “Should’ve asked him.” Oh well. It was too late now, and there was no way he was going back just to ask something like that, not with that weather outside. He grabbed some packages and bags randomly off the shelves and, before finishing the mini shopping trip, grabbed an energy drink just in case Elliot got thirsty.

“Cold?” The woman behind the corner inquired as Cameron placed the food and beverage on the counter. Cameron pulled out the money and placed it beside the chosen contents while she rang them up.

“Only a little,” he replied. It wasn’t as if his lips were turning blue, but he certainly was beginning to shiver a little. The woman chuckled and began to stuff the food and beverage into a white plastic bag, along with the receipt. She mumbled a casual, “thank you, come again” and handed him the change. He wished her a good day and took the bag, then took a deep breath before he hurried out of the store.

Cameron had been soaked a minute before, but when he got back into the car, he was almost completely drenched. His hair and clothes stuck to his body almost too comfortably, and he felt a shiver snake down his spine every time a raindrop snuck down his neck and managed to slide intimately down his back. But nevertheless, when he sat back down in his seat and held out the bag out to Elliot, he smiled goofily through the damp coldness and said, “Delivery!”

“Huh. I didn’t think the rain out there was that bad,” was all Elliot said in response, his expression one of utmost scrutiny.

“Nah, it’s not as bad as it looks. Here,” he handed Elliot the bag and the change to go with it. “I didn’t know what you wanted, so I just grabbed whatever. I hope that’s okay.” He held his breath when Elliot accepted the bag and dug through it. He pulled out a package of beef jerky, followed by a plastic container of colourful gummy worms. He shook his head as if astounded.

“Beef jerky and gummy worms?”

“I think there’s a bag of chocolate in there somewhere, too. And an energy drink.”

Elliot dug through the bag some more and pulled out a tall black can along with a small bag of chocolate. Cameron waited for the outburst, followed by the stinging, critical comments. Instead, Elliot shook his head again, an amused smirk sneaking on his lips.

“I think I can understand the beef jerky. Even the chocolate. But gummy worms?” Still smirking, Elliot turned and gestured to the container of colourful, rubbery candy in his hand. “Did you really just grab this at random?”

“Well, yeah.” Cameron let go of the breath he held, relieved that Elliot wasn’t angry or the least bit displeased looking. He a felt a bubbly giddiness welling up inside and couldn’t help but smile.

“Why?”

“Because they’re the cat’s pajamas?” Cameron answered uncertainly, testing the unknown waters that he was stepping into. In all seriousness, he had really just grabbed it at random. He hadn’t even really been paying attention when he had grabbed the food. Trying to make sense of something spontaneous like that would be like yelling at a brick wall and expecting it to respond. There was just no point.

“Heh.” Elliot placed the containers of gummy worms next to the rest of the food. He still seemed amused by the situation, however his smirk was now less pronounced. “Gummy worms…I think the last time I ate gummy worms was at Jackie’s thirteenth birthday party.”

The freckled boys’ curiosity peaked again. “Jackie?”

“Jacqueline,” Elliot answered absent-mindedly while prying open the container of gummy worms. It popped open after a hard pull.  “She’s a close friend of mine.”

“Oh. I don’t think I know her.”

“That’s weird,” The dirty-blond haired boy mumbled, sifting his fingers through the gummy worms until he pulled out a bluish-green one. He popped it into his mouth. “Most people know her; she’s very social.”

“Well, to be fair, I don’t know a lot of people,” Cameron admitted in a sheepish tone. He scratched the back of his damp neck. “I moved here late during the summer. Like, mid-August? I'm still getting used to this area.”

Elliot popped another colourful gummy worm into his mouth, chewed, then swallowed. “Ah,” he mused aloud, picking up another gummy worm to consume. “That explains why I didn’t recognize you when we first met, then. I thought that was weird.”

“Why? Do you know everyone in the school?”

“Not everyone,” Elliot coolly corrected him. “But I do know a fair amount.”

“Wow.” Cameron leaned back in his seat, ignoring how chilly the leather felt against his already cold, damp body. He had gotten the impression that Elliot was a fairly well known personality in the school, especially with his status in the Student Council, but he hadn’t thought that Elliot was that well known at their school. “You must get out a lot.”

Elliot mumbled something along the lines of agreement, but nothing more. Cameron mused over the new bits if information. None of it should have been shocking, but on some level it was. Elliot had never come across as a super social and friendly person—at least to him. Was he like that with everyone else? Did he smile and joke around with everyone else but him? Was he nice to everyone else but him…?

Cameron’s eyebrows pulled together, and the relieved flightiness that he had felt in his chest earlier became heavy and burdening. He swallowed a developing thick lump in his throat and wished that the heaviness would go away. Nice to everyone but him. What a painful thought that was…

He nearly jumped in his seat when a hand suddenly shot out and waved in front of his face. He turned and looked at the bemused boy beside him, who was still feasting upon the rainbow gummy worms. “Hello? Are you zoning out?”

“Nah.” Cameron shook his head, aware of how unconvincing he sounded. “Just thinking.”

“Hmm.” Elliot looked down and shook the container of gummy worms in his hand a bit. Without any sort of warning he held out the container towards Cameron and shook it again, the gummy worms tossing around haphazardly inside. “You sure you don’t want some?”

Cameron gazed at the gummy worms and, after taking in all of their vibrant and pleasing form, he caved. “Yeah, sure. Why not?” Who could truly resist the innocent charm of the candy of one’s youth? His hand reached out and closed around a few, then pulled them out. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

After a few minutes, they settled into a quiet atmosphere.

Sitting there in his car, eating candy in comfy leather seats with nothing but the gently shushing of the rain outside, and about ten miles outside of town, Cameron felt more than just comfortable. It was nice to just sit there and simply existing, especially with someone else there who seemed to now share the same mood and feeling. With nothing to do and nowhere to go, it was just serene and calming. There was something undeniably gentle and tranquil about being there, something that Cameron couldn’t quite put his finger on. Before, any sort of silence was deafening, most likely due to the disturbance in Elliot’s behavior that had birthed that awful tension a while ago. But this…this was nice, and he liked it. In fact, Cameron liked it so much that the thought of having to eventually leave when the rain would let up was downright depressing.

A part of him didn’t want to end up driving them both back, knowing that things would probably go back to the way they were before. Elliot had said so himself; that this would change nothing. He had said that before he had driven him home, but it was only logical to assume that he meant any car ride Cameron would ever give him, if any more at all.

This would probably be the only time Elliot could be in the same room—or car—with him and not scowl or frown insistently. That shouldn’t have surprised him. That shouldn’t have hurt him, either. But it did. Somehow, in someway, it did.

“Elliot.”

“Hmm?”

Cameron played around with the sleeve of his damp uniform shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about what?” To Cameron’s dismay, Elliot sounded skeptical and doubtful.

“Well, for being so nosy earlier.” Cameron cleared his throat uneasily. He felt so awkward now, apologizing to Elliot like this. Apologizing was never a demeaning thing in Cameron’s eyes, but it was what he was apologizing for that made him feel so jittery now, especially after Elliot had made it very clear about his feelings on that. “I know I made you angry earlier, and that wasn’t my intention. So, I’m sorry.”

Elliot studied him before briskly nodding with approval. “Apology accepted.” He reached down between his legs and pulled up the plastic bag of beef jerky. He ripped the bag open. “Here, take some.”

“No thanks.”

Elliot cocked an eyebrow at the freckled boy and practically shoved the bag into his hands, and repeated himself in a calm but stern voice, “That wasn’t a suggestion. Take some.”

As appalling as it was to be told what to do in such a stern manner, Cameron was sure that Elliot’s intentions were good-hearted. Probably. Maybe this was his way of apologizing for being a stubborn douchebag? Nah, that didn’t seem too likely. Elliot was probably just trying to be nice. And, remembering that this would probably be the only time Elliot would ever be ‘nice’ to him like he was with everyone else, Cameron decided to just go with the flow.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.” He took some from the bag and handed it back to Elliot. He bit down on a piece and chewed the tough, dry, and salty meat thoughtfully. After a minute, he noticed that he was the only one eating.

Eliot pulled at the plastic wrapping of the beef jerky bag. “You know...I wasn’t really angry.”

Surprised, Cameron gazed at Elliot long and hard as the other sat still in his seat, staring blankly ahead. As much as Cameron wanted to ask the burning questions in his mind, he pursed his lips together and kept quiet. Cameron knew that there were moments in life where you should sit quietly and wait instead of rushing blindly ahead—and this was probably one of those moments.

“It wasn’t like I was going to punch your lights out or something,” Elliot continued in the same muted voice. His eyebrows knitted together, as if frustrated about something. “And it wasn’t like anything had happened to make me want to hurt anyone else. I just…I don’t know.” He paused, but kept quiet, leaving the sentence to hang in the air.

On second thought, maybe this was one of those moments that needed a gentle and caring push to keep it going towards its destination?

“I don’t mean to be nosy, and I don’t mean to offend you or anything like that,” Cameron spoke awkwardly, feeling the light tension slowly gain its thickness as he spoke. “But, as a concerned bystander, what happened?”

“Nothing of any real importance,” Elliot sighed, running his fingers through his dirty blond hair and scratching his scalp as if in deep thought. “And that’s not a lie. It really was nothing of any huge importance. It’s not as if someone died, or something. So you can stop with that look.”

The freckled boy attempted to look as neutral as possible. What look? Did he look too keen? Fuck. He didn’t want to annoy Elliot and make him withdraw again. Not when he was on the verge of opening up. Not when his curiosity thirsted for whatever secrets the other boy had buried inside. Cameron attempted to sound as aloof and impersonal as possible, without sounding cruelly cold or disinterested, “So, what did happen?”

Elliot sighed with frustration, as if privately re-living the memory in his own head. “Just my parents being complete ass-hats again.”

“Again?” Shit, he hoped he didn’t sound too eager with that response.  

“Yeah, again,” Elliot answered, likely not noticing the Cameron’s keenness. “The idiots can’t be in the same room with each other without completely ignoring each other, or without yelling or breaking something. It’s a complete waste. And when they’re not at home, they’re off far away on business trips, doing whatever the hell it is that they do.”

“Oh,” Cameron mumbled sadly. “That sounds…” Idiotic? Pointless?…Lonely?

“Frustrating,” Elliot finished for him, playing with the food in his hands. There were a few tugs every now and then, and occasionally he ate the small strips of beef jerky that he ripped off. “It’s bad enough that they’re hardly every home. It sucks living by yourself, you know. It sometimes makes me wish they were there…but when they’re both actually home, it makes me wish they’d just go away again. When they’re home, it just reminds me why I hate them.”

Cameron swallowed, a little stricken by Elliot’s choice of words. “Hate is a pretty strong word.”

“I know. That’s why I used it.” His jaw tightened and he snorted skeptically. “At least when they’re not home, I don’t have to clean up anything they broke during one of their childish fights.”

Before Cameron could stop himself, he had already blurted out, “Do they usually break things?”

“Let me put it this way: when I get home, I’m probably going to have to clean up some glass from a vase on the stairs. Funny thing is that I think it was my father who gave my mother that vase in the first place.” Elliot chuckled humorlessly. “Last time my father threw some fancy and expensive dress he had bought her a few years ago onto the fireplace. The loudest I’d ever heard her scream at him. She could barely speak properly the next morning.”

Cameron bit his lip. He could tell from the tone in Elliot’s voice and from his body language that was he wasn’t lying, that all of this was true…but it seemed ridiculous for two mature adults to argue and fight like that. “Why don’t they get a divorce if they can’t stand each other?”

“They’re barely together at all. I don’t think there’s much of a point,” Elliot huffed. “A waste of money and a waste of time. I bet they wouldn’t even know how to sign the damned papers for it, either. Not that they’d waste their time doing something like that. Besides, for all I know they have secret lovers off in some other state or country.”

Cameron had always been told that curiosity killed the cat. Well, Cameron wasn’t exactly sure whether that was always true, but at that very moment he was certain that curiosity had killed his optimism for the day. He couldn’t imagine having parents like that. He didn’t want to imagine it, either. It sounded painful and lonely to put up with, although Elliot was sneering and seemed to be trying to pass it off as something normal and expected. Cameron wondered what it must be like to live in the two unhealthy extremes?

“So that’s why you wanted me to get you away from home,” Cameron murmured his thought aloud; the bits and pieces of the puzzle were connecting themselves together in his mind.

“I told you it was nothing of importance,” The dirty-blond haired boy chastised, although his retort sounded empty. “So, happy now?”

Cameron shook his head, but his mouth was already curling into its usual smile, his security blanket for when things turned out in unexpected ways.

“Whatever,” Elliot grumbled, falling back into his previously ill-tempered mood. Cameron couldn’t help but feel a little responsible for that, for letting Elliot recall painful things like that and admit them aloud to someone he barely knew. Then, as if on the same thread of thought as Cameron, Elliot added, “If I find out you went around telling everyone about any of this, I’ll kick your ass. Got it?”

“Yeah.” Cameron continued to smile, no matter how much hurt he felt that Elliot thought he’d do something dishonest like that. “Got it.”

“Good.” Elliot picked up the food on his lap and put it back into the plastic bag between his feet, the plastic rustling obtrusively in the awkward and tense silence, then he leaned back in his seat and began to blankly stare out the window.

Only this time Cameron wasn’t burning inside with personal and nosy questions. No, he had his answers for the time being. And, as much as Cameron wished he could avoid it, he found himself gazing at Elliot. It felt rude—and even a little on the sneaky side—to do so when Elliot couldn’t glare back at him and tell him to back off. But the more Cameron reflected on what Elliot had told him, the more amazed and astounded he felt by everything. He felt guilty for putting Elliot back into a grumpy mood; there was no doubt about that, but so many things about Elliot began to make sense now. So many little things that he had noticed during the few times they had been in the same room as each other. The cockiness and the stubbornness, for one. The fact that as he was on the Student Council spoke a lot about Elliot, too. Maybe, because of his lack of control over his home life, he compensated by asserting control and leadership at school, where leadership was needed?

Maybe that’s why my club frustrates Elliot so much. Maybe that’s the real reason behind why he wants to shut it down, whether he realizes it or not. Cameron mused sadly. Maybe that's why I anger Elliot so much. Maybe that’s why he hates me…

There he went with the depressing thoughts again; but they felt true. They felt undeniable. And normally, Cameron would’ve been fine with something like that. If someone didn’t like him, then fine. That was their feelings and he wouldn’t try to change it. But this…this felt different. He had never been bothered by a person’s honest feelings before, except this was different. He didn’t know why, it just was. It just was. Some part of him wanted Elliot to like him like he liked everyone else. Some part of him wanted Elliot to treat him like he did everyone else, without the scowls’, the sarcasm, and the disapproval.

Only…that would never happen, would it?

It was just wishful thinking, wasn’t it?

Cameron turned in his seat a little, then leaned over a little towards Elliot. Maybe there was someway that he could change this? There had to be a way, some physical way that could alter things, turn the tables, make things fair and happy…a way for things to feel good and right.

There had to be a way.

Cameron leaned in closer, close enough that he could almost breathe Elliot’s unique and calming scent. His heart began to beat thunderously in his ears. There had to be away—and he’d find it.

“Hey. I think the rain is letting up.” Elliot said, shattering the silence. Cameron froze on the spot, the whole situation finally registering in his head. Before Elliot could turn and notice the situation for himself, Cameron immediately pulled back and attempted to look as calm as possible. He forced himself to stare out of his own window, as if he had been lost in his own world instead of getting lost in a world all about Elliot. He felt the Elliot’s eyes burning into him.

“See? The rain’s letting up.” Elliot repeated himself, his voice holding a hint of suspicion.

“Y-Yeah. I see that. That’s great!” The freckled-boy answered nervously, grinning and trying to swallow the thick lump in his throat. His heart seemed insistent on beating furiously. He could almost feel every artery and vein in his body pumping vigorously.

“Cameron…?”

“Y-Yes?” He forced himself to turn and look into Elliot’s eyes. He found no comfort there, only suspicion and bemusement. Shit! Was Elliot onto him?

Elliot raised an eyebrow. “Why aren’t you driving yet?”

Cameron wanted to let out a huge sigh of relief, but remained as still and calm as possible. Thank God. Was that all? “Oh, right. Yes.” He pulled the seatbelt at his side and yanked it down, locking it into place with a sharp click. “Do you want to go home?”

"My parents probably stopped their bullshit by now. So, yes, that would be the plan.”

Cameron felt an inward twinge at the sarcastic edge at the very end of Elliot’s remark, but he continued to smile. None of this should have been as painful and confusing as it felt, but it was. “Okay. I’ll have you home before you know it.”

Sure enough, when Cameron pulled the car back onto the road to take Elliot home, the rain began to slowly let up. The world didn’t look so foggy and perplexing as it had been just moments ago.

On the outside, anyway.  The inside was another matter.


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


Unfortunately, after Cameron had dropped Elliot off at home and he had arrived at his own home, he didn’t feel any better. He went through his usual routine: he parked the car into the garage, took off his shoes at the doorway, said hello to his father in the living room who was half dozing off in front of the TV again, and went straight up to his room. Nothing unusual. Except the rest of the day had been unusual. He had just spent the whole afternoon with Elliot. He had heard some personal things that explained a few things about Elliot. And he had done some strange things of his own…

Cameron dropped his book bag by the desk in his bedroom and practically collapsed onto the chair. He crossed his arms on the desk and rested his head on them. He stared at all of the posters he had on his bedroom walls. Before, they would’ve cheered him up no matter what sort of bull shit had happened during the day. He could have popped in any of his favourite band's CD’s and have sung and even danced his stress away.

Only he had a feeling that this wasn’t one of those feelings that would go away with a simple song or dance. Although his heart no longer beat irregularly, and he was no longer on edge, he still felt this jitteriness inside that troubled him. He had only seen Elliot just ten minutes ago, after he had dropped him off at his house, and already a part of him felt strange. He had felt a sort of loneliness when he thought of the time they had shared in his car, of the two of them talking (even if Elliot was frustrated and quiet for a good portion of the time).

When Cameron thought of that being the only time that he and Elliot may be in the same place at the same time and actually get along for a little bit, it only made the void he felt inside that much stronger.

And the feeling just wouldn’t go away.

They wouldn’t.

Go.

Away!

Cameron’s fingers dug deeply into his arms and he squeezed his eyes shut, as if physically willing the confusing feelings away. What were these feelings? Why were they there? Why did they even exist at all? How did they get there? And why did they exist inside of him?

The previous conversation that they had shared replayed itself in his head…and he wondered whether Elliot was shutting out the world again, like he had in his car. He wondered if Elliot’s parents were still arguing when he had gotten home. He wondered how Elliot felt…and if he was thinking of him?

His fingers dug even deeper into his arms; he could feel the nails leaving painful and temporary crevices into his skin. Something squeezed his heart at the thought of Elliot, and the same something made any and all feelings about the regal dirty-blond haired boy all the more overwhelming. Something struck a chord inside, and Cameron wished that for a moment, the world would just go away.

What were these feelings?


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


To Be Continued