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Warning: Contains Boys Love and vulgar language.

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Chapter 16: Certainly Uncertain


Elliot knew that things were beginning to look up when he awoke Monday morning, and for the first time in over a week, he didn’t feel sick with dread.

There was still a side of him—a cautious, expectant side—that expected the absolute worst. After a week of dealing with something he’d caused, it was hard to believe and expect otherwise. He got dressed in his uniform, with the addition of a black vest suited for the late autumn weather, and got prepared for the rest of the day in a tense state, his mind conjuring up every possibility of his day going to shit.

When he stepped outside into a warm, but muted, sunny world, his shoulders began to lose a little of their slump. The sky was still a crisp, clear blue, and the sun was still warm by the time he’d arrived. Maybe the world had decided to give him a break…?

Deciding to test fate, Elliot opted to walk to school instead of driving. He traveled through the same path he always took, down familiar roads and streets until the houses became fewer, and the patches of brown grass more numerous. The private institute crawled into sight over the horizon of small hills. And so far, nothing had gone wrong. There were no random rain clouds, no tornados...

It was almost a little too good.

Elliot’s good luck continued straight into first period, when the sea of voices harmonized into a pleasant background hum, and the once-complex schoolwork began to make sense once again.

But there has to be a catch. No amount of good luck after a week of utter shit would be enough to convince him that anything had just ‘gotten better over night’. There’s always a catch, he reasoned.

So, despite the entirety of his morning, Elliot walked to second period with bated breath. Once he arrived, he paused at the doorway. Wait for it, his mind whispered. Something will happen any second now…

A few seconds passed with him just standing in the doorway, eyeing the room with a skeptical frown. He heard a person excuse themself from behind, then push past him, and jump into a boisterous conversation with someone on the other side of the room. Nothing new. Elliot’s eyes followed them for a moment before they locked onto his desk—and Jacqueline’s. His frown deepened.

She’s not here yet. Was she at school that day? His thoughts turned to last Friday—she couldn’t possibly still be upset enough to avoid him, could she?

But that’s impossible! We talked, we sorted things out. Is there something else I don’t know about? I knew today was too good to be—

“Elliot,” a soft voice said from behind. “You’re blocking the doorway. Could you move, please?

Elliot spun around, his gaze falling to meet Jacqueline’s. His mouth fell open. “Jacqueline! It’s you!”

“That’s always reassuring to hear,” Jacqueline said with a light laugh. “I wasn’t aware I could be anyone else.” She stood on her tiptoes to look over Elliot’s shoulder and into the classroom. “Um, Elliot, the doorway…”

“Oh. Right, right.” Elliot stepped out of the way. Jacqueline thanked him and began walking to her desk, as well as a few students who had waited behind her to get in. After they passed, Elliot hurried to his desk, his mind still reeling at the sight of one of his best friends. He dropped his book bag by his desk. “How was your weekend?”

Jacqueline shrugged, letting her book bag drop onto the black and white tiled floor with a soft plop. “A little long, but a cousin dropped by Saturday, so we went out and got some shopping done.” She sat down in her seat and offered Elliot a kind smile. “How was yours?”

Elliot let out a heaving sigh of exasperation and collapsed into his seat. “Long.”

“Good long, or bad long?”

“It was just really long.” Elliot dug through his book bag and searched for his elusive textbook. Finding it, he yanked it out and plopped it onto his desk. “Last night wasn’t so bad, though.”

“Oh?” Jacqueline's kind smile faded away. After a brief pause, she asked in a wary voice, “Did something good happen?”

Elliot nodded while pulling out his binder. “Yeah. I mainly just caught up on work over the weekend,” not to mention a lot of thinking and reflecting as well, “but I did end up calling Cameron last night—”

“Cameron?” Jacqueline interrupted, her eyes widening. When Elliot nodded, she pursed her lips together. “I see.” Her gaze shifted to the floor, the heels of her feet tapping together. She gestured for him to go on.

Elliot paused, hesitant to continue after seeing the sudden shift in his friend’s mood. He could hear the stray chords of her usual kindness in her voice, but just as he expected, Jacqueline was still distant and cautious about the situation. Nevertheless, they’d both agreed that they still wanted to be friends, and if Elliot had to get the ball rolling first, then he would.

Besides, Jacqueline was his best friend, and he’d be damned if he couldn’t push past the invisible barriers and have a meaningful conversation with her. Elliot cleared his throat and continued. “Anyways, I called him, and we went for a walk…we talked, and he got a lot off his chest. Hopefully he’s feeling better today. He seemed a lot better afterwards last night.”

Jacqueline’s feet ceased their tapping. “That’s good,” she said. “…He was holding stuff in?”

“Yeah. He was holding a lot in, actually. You should’ve heard him—he was spazzing all over the place. I thought I was prepared for whatever he’d do or say, but it was still pretty shocking how sudden and overwhelming it was. ” Elliot scratched the back of his head. Just the memory itself reminded him of how they had all gotten to that point, and all because of him... “But he got a lot out, so I think we should be fine.”

Jacqueline's eyebrows rose. “‘We’?”

“Well, us. Everything in general.”

Jacqueline shook her head, a few of her long white-blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Elliot agreed. Although he had been concerned right after Cameron’s outburst, he had to admit that Cameron had seemed a whole lot better afterwards. His smiles didn’t hold an unnatural strain, and he seemed to encompass a natural, optimistic calm rather than the restless, anxious energy that had occupied him during the last few days. Even after he’d walked Cameron home, the results had already begun to show. The freckled boy had been a chatterbox the whole way. But Elliot hadn’t minded in the least. He couldn’t help a tiny smile as he recalled the memory, even if he hadn’t quite earned a moment of relief just yet—after all, he still had to prove to both Cameron and Jacqueline that he’d learned his lesson the first time.

He glanced at Jacqueline, considered his previous thought, and asked, “Are you doing okay?”

Jacqueline gave a slight nod and a tiny, “Yes,” then turned away just as their second period teacher entered the room. While their teacher shouted for the class to calm down, Elliot turned to face the front, hoping that the sun remained bright and warm.


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Over an hour later, after the scheduled bell had rung, Elliot packed his stuff and waited by the door for Jacqueline to catch up. She looked no less weary than she had the previous Friday, but he had to admit that she was already beginning to look a little livelier.

Jacqueline smiled up at Elliot after she caught up with him, then they walked down the hallway in a familiar, thoughtful silence.

When they reached the end of the hallway, and were about to turn off onto another, Elliot halted in place, gaze locked off on the far left. Jacqueline paused a few steps ahead and looked at who had caught Elliot’s attention. She let out a light sigh.

“I’ll see you later,” Jacqueline said with a small wave. Elliot turned and returned the words. He watched her saunter down the hallway on the right before allowing himself to go down the opposite hallway, and over to a certain freckled boy, who stood in front of a bulletin board, his interest currently caught up in the massive layers of notices.

When Cameron didn’t notice Elliot walk over to him, he cleared his throat and said, “Hey.”

Cameron jumped to life. He turned his head so fast that some of his loose hair tossed over his face. He blew it out of the way and replied, “Hey! S’up?”

“Nothing much.” Elliot gestured to the bulletin board. “What’re you doing?”

“Oh, this.” A cheeky grin spread wide across Cameron’s face. “Just getting ideas for what my club should do next Wednesday.”

Elliot raised his eyebrows. “Oh.” He’d almost forgotten about Cameron’s club. Elliot could recall a time, only a few months ago, when the very mention of it would have filled him with frustration and resentment. But now it didn't bother him all that much.

…Of course, that didn’t really include his initial wariness when it came to some of the clubs ideas. “What ideas?” he asked.

“Just ideas,” Cameron explained, his grin widening when Elliot frowned at his vagueness. “It’s a secret—I can’t say. I don’t even know if I can do it yet, I have to ask. But don’t worry! We’re not sacrificing any virgins or something.”

Elliot raised an eyebrow. “And by we, you mean…?”

“‘We’ as in you, me, and the rest of the club, seeing as your two club days of freedom are long over.” Cameron began to rub his hands together in a mad-scientist fashion. “Feeling up to it?”

Elliot sucked in some air from between his teeth, but a small smirk stretched across his lips. “I think I can handle it—no matter what shenanigans you’re scheming.”

Cameron grinned, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Good.”

Elliot shifted his weight onto the other foot, a certain question spinning around in his head, getting checked all over. He debated whether or not to ask—Cameron seemed to be in a hell of a lot better mood; why ruin it?—but he knew he had to ask, just to be sure. “So, how’re you doing?”

Cameron cocked an eyebrow, perplexed, before his eyes lit up with comprehension. “Oh!” His grin turned sheepish. He rubbed the back of his neck while considering the question. “I’m good—better than I was…so, good?” He laughed a little at the end. “Okay, you can stop giving me that look now. You’re making me nervous.”

Astonished, Elliot asked, “What look?”

Cameron waved his hand in dismissal. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.” His gaze darted off to the side, and before Elliot knew it, Cameron was waving his hand with wild energy. “Hey Elena!”

Elliot looked over his shoulder, and sure enough, there was Elena walking over. Two thick paperbacks were tucked between her hand and hip in a protective grip. She must’ve just gotten back from the library, Elliot reasoned.

He watched her stroll over and gave a light wave to both of them. Elliot offered a simple hello, and as expected, she nodded in acknowledgement.

“Got your books, I see.” Cameron tilted his head to read the titles. “Oh, nice choices.” He straightened up and shook his hair out of his eyes. “I guess we’d better get going, then. The bell will ring any time now.” Cameron turned back to Elliot and began to rub his neck. “I’ll see you later…?”

“Yeah. Lunch time?”

Cameron’s eyes widened; the hand on his neck paused. “R-Really?” he stammered.

Elena began to smile; a soft chuckle escaped her. Cameron shot her an incredulous look. “Why’re you laughing?” he whispered to her. Elena’s gaze darted between the two boys, but she shook her head, and indulged in a private chuckle. Cameron gave up with a faint sigh. “Anyway, yeah…I’ll see you at lunch, then.”

“Yeah, later,” Elliot answered. He watched the duo leave, catching only the trail ends of Cameron asking Elena about why she was laughing at him, while the purple-haired girl could only cover her mouth with her hand, unable to stop chortling at Cameron’s embarrassed expression. Elliot smiled to himself, amused, then began his stroll to his next class.


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Elliot was on the edge of his seat until the bell rang to end class. With an eagerness that had built up over the course of the last sixty minutes, he packed up his things and bolted from his seat. He stopped in mid-movement and looked over his shoulder to where Jacqueline still sat, packing up her things at her own pace. A faint line appeared between Elliot’s eyebrows when they furrowed together in thought.

Should I invite her along…?

The immediate answer was no, and there was no wondering why. There was no possible way that he could dare ask such a question when he was still atoning for his mistakes. And, as much as he would’ve loved to able to hang out with both Cameron and Jacqueline at the same time, he knew that it wouldn’t be a fair thing to ask of either of them at that point.

…Still, it was a thought to consider. Just not now. Deciding that he wanted to leave on a positive and open note, Elliot called out to Jacqueline. When she glanced up, he said, “See you later, right?”

Jacqueline nodded and gave him a friendly grin. “Bye.”

And with that, Elliot was out the door, rushing down the hallway that led to the nearest exit to the outside.

True to his earlier hopes that morning, the sun was still warm and welcoming when he stepped outside. He squinted his eyes—although the temperature remained brisk and low, the sun and sky seemed to have almost brightened in hue. A few white, translucent clouds stretched out just beyond the long horizon of naked trees. Elliot buried his hands into his pant pockets, glad that it was late enough in the year for the students at their institution to be able to add their black vests to the uniform; he was also grateful that he’d remembered to slip his on before he’d left for school earlier that morning.

Elliot stepped down the small set of stairs and began his walk around the school. It didn’t seem to take too long before the hill out back was in plain view. Two figures were already on the hill—Cameron and Alison. Maxi and Elena didn’t seem to be there just yet. Then Elliot caught sight of something moving out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and spotted Elena strolling towards the hill at her own steady pace, a tan-coloured cafeteria tray full of food in her hands.

“Hey,” Elliot called out, attempting to grab the dark-haired girl’s attention. She glanced at him and, as expected, nodded her silent acknowledgement. Not that her response surprised him. Although he couldn’t get why anyone would willingly that quiet.

Elliot crossed the small distance across the hill. Cameron spotted him and was already waving wildly, his entire expression lighting up with scarcely contained excitement. Alison, to no one’s surprise, smirked and rolled her eyes. After a quick look at Alison's now black and blue dyed hair, Elliot proceded to ignore her. As if he was going to reward her with the satisfaction of getting underneath his skin. He dropped his book bag onto the ground and sat down beside Cameron.

“Hey,” the freckled boy chimed, grinning. “You came.”

Elliot shrugged, as if it were no big deal. “I said I would, didn’t I?”

Cameron’s ears and cheeks flushed a little. “Well, yeah…” he trailed off, averting his eyes elsewhere. He leaned his head back and heaved a deep breath of air. “Nice out, isn’t it?”

Elliot’s eyes trailed over the slight curves and contours of Cameron’s body. “Yeah, it is.”

Oblivious to Elliot’s exploring eyes, Cameron twisted his body around enough for him to look at Alison. “Alison, where’s Maxi? I haven’t seen him all day.”

Alison, who had been digging through her book bag, paused and glanced at him. “He’s probably around somewhere, doing something.” She resumed her hunt through her bag. “He was with me this morning, but then he sort of vanished.”

“Oh. Did he ever find his house key?” Cameron asked in the same, inquisitive voice. Alison only shrugged her shoulders, making a ‘maybe’ motion with her free hand. “Huh. Bummer,” Cameron murmured before twisting back around. When Elliot rose an eyebrow,  he explained, “Poor guy lost his house key somewhere.”

Elliot couldn’t help the slight grimace at the news—not that it was news to him. “Imagine that…” he mumbled under his breath, low enough that he was certain Cameron couldn’t hear the cynicism.

Then, a clacking noise snatched Elliot’s attention. And not just his, but everyone’s. Everyone turned to each other, faces screwed up with bewilderment as the sound grew louder and more distinct. It was then that Maxi appeared from the bunch of nearby trees, pushing some of the thin, naked branches out of the way as he stepped out onto the hill. In his hand, he held a steel gray cylinder, and when he pressed a button along the side, a long, red tube shot out from one end.

“Holy shit, a light saber*!” Cameron blurted, gawking at the light saber with unconstrained glee. Even from a distance away, they could all see the tell-tale smirk on Maxi’s lips.

“And a ‘hello’ to you, too, Camcam,” Maxi called out. With the palm of his hand, he pushed the red tube back into the handle, then pressed the button again, the red tube reappearing with a hollow ‘frump’ sound. Still smirking, Maxi jogged the rest of the way to the small group. When the dark-skinned boy noticed how Cameron was visually ogling the toy, Maxi laughed again and struck a dynamic pose with it. “Got this bad-boy from Alison yesterday.” He shot a smug look at Alison. “She’s got some right nifty stuff hidden in her closet.”

“Yes, and I’d appreciate it if you gave that back and left my closet and its possessions alone,” Alison retorted in a bemused voice. Maxi waved off his friend’s displeasure.

“Later, Ali. In the mean time, I think someone’s just itching to see this with his own hands. Ain’t that right, Camcam?”

Elliot watched Cameron turn to Alison with hopeful eyes, his hands cupping together as he chanted, “Please, please, please, please…!” A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, but no real smile formed. He even continued to watch with slight amusement as Cameron jumped to his feet and rushed off to where Maxi stood, repeatedly shouting back, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” However, he looked away when Cameron and Maxi assimilated into their own temporary group, the two of them privately admiring the toy. No part of him—the old or the new—could stand to watch that.

Instead, he gave a light sigh and watched the few clouds from far away float along, in awe of how peaceful he felt just sitting there. It felt…right. At that exact moment, none of the tension with at least half of the group mattered. He was there with Cameron, and Cameron was no longer holding in copious amounts of hurt and anger. It was as if the pieces of his life were gradually reconnecting themselves once again.

Elliot dropped his head, and in the direction that it fell, the title of the book Elena was reading caught his attention. "The Shining*?" he asked, receiving a slight nod from the purple-haired girl in return. Elliot studied the cover, racking his brain for what the story had been about. “That’s the one about the writer who goes crazy and tries to kill his family, right?”

This time, Elena looked up from the paperback in her hands, torn away from the fantasy world the text provided. One hand held her place, while the other paused while reaching for some food from her tray. After a long, considerate moment, she said in a quiet voice, “You’ve read?”

Taken off guard, Elliot only blinked back at Elena. Did she just talk?! He could only vaguely remember the last time he’d heard her talk—it was in middle school, when they’d been in the same class, and it was only when the teacher had asked her to answer questions in class. Recovering his senses, Elliot said, “No, I don’t think I’ve read that one yet. Just saw the movie.”

Elena blinked. Only the slightest twitch of her eyebrows turning upwards for a brief second betrayed her mellow appearance and revealed a split-second of disappointment. “Oh,” she murmured, then turned back to her book.

Elliot frowned. Wow, the first time she willingly talks to me, and it goes badly. Perfect.

Then, after he’d just turned back around, he caught the trail end of something that sounded like talking…A trick of the imagination? He turned back to Elena—she was still staring at her book.

“This will probably sound a little stupid,” Elliot said, "but did you say something just now?"

To his surprise, Elena nodded, eyes glued to the book. “You should read it. It’s good,” she repeated without looking up.

“…Okay.” Elliot blinked, still a little stunned, even as Elena fell back into her usual silence. Okay, maybe that hadn’t gone as bad as he’d previously thought…Pushing the thoughts aside, Elliot decided to just sit back, relax, and eat some of the cold spaghetti that he’d packed.

Elliot had just eaten over half his lunch when a loud yelp pierced the still atmosphere. He didn’t have to turn and look to know from where the sound had originated though, because the boisterous duo were racing around a few feet in front of him. Elliot swallowed a large bite of cold noodles and spicy tomato sauce right when Maxi darted after Cameron all over the hill—the two caught up in some strange game of cat-and-mouse…and with a toy light saber, at that. Not surprising. Elliot’s eating slowed to a complete stop when he caught a few trail ends of laughter and cries for mercy—the latter solely from the freckled boy. Even from far away, Elliot could see the mischievous grin on Maxi’s face…and he knew that it was a grin that held no vindictive bitterness.

Elliot couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a truly pleasant expression on the dark-skinned boy’s face; any memories he had of the good-old times had long since been contaminated by his own toxic bitterness.

Elliot let the plastic container filled with food rest on his lap, along with his fork. He’d lost his appetite.

The next thing Elliot knew, something heavy and panting collapsed next to him, and a pair of hands gripped at his arm. Elliot glanced at Cameron, who had buried his face into Elliot’s shoulder, attempting to catch his shaky breath. Another body moved past them, and Elliot knew that Maxi had returned to his side in the group, beside Alison.

“Holy crap,” Cameron gasped against Elliot’s arm, drawing the boy’s attention back onto him. He could feel Cameron’s hot breath pant against him through the long, white sleeves of his dress shirt. “My lungs are on fire!” the freckled boy gasped, grinning from ear-to-ear, like a little boy who’d just experienced the best afternoon of his life.

Elliot raised an eyebrow and asked, “You okay?”

Cameron pulled back and to look him in the eye. “Oh yeah, I’m fine,” the boy responded. He then eyed the container on Elliot’s lap. “Whoa, looks good. Can I have a bite?”

“You didn’t pack a lunch?”

Cameron’s smile turned sheepish. “I did, but I kinda ate it all this morning. Sorta happens every morning, actually.” Cameron took one look at the expression on Elliot’s face and blurted, “But it’s okay if you don’t want to share! I get it! It’s not like I’m starving—I’m not. It just looks and smells really yummy.”

Elliot took one look at his food, both stunned and humbled by the small compliment. Did it really look that appetizing to the other boy? With a shrug, Elliot handed the container to Cameron, his heart giving a slight twitch when Cameron beamed. Elliot held his breath when the other boy wound some of the noodles around the fork, then took that first bite. He exhaled with relief when Cameron made a delighted noise.

“Damn, this is yummy,” Cameron replied, smacking his lips together. “Where’d you get this?”

Elliot opened his mouth—but stopped himself. It felt odd, but he was hesitant to admit that he’d made the food himself. Figures, Elliot mentally criticized himelf. I can tell him things neither of us want to hear, but I can’t admit something like this.

Instead, Elliot remained quiet, unwilling to improvise a plausible fib.

“Well, in any case,” Cameron spoke around the food,” it’s really good.” He went to hand Elliot the container, but he rejected the offer and told Cameron to have the rest. And although he knew that Cameron wasn’t aware of it—not that Elliot expected anyone to know, no one outside of his immediate group of friends knew—his compliment had still tickled him pink. It was a humbling feeling—and he liked it.

Not too long after Cameron had wolfed down the last morsels of food, the inevitable bell rang to herd the students back to their classes. Cameron gave the now empty container back to Elliot, but made a point of licking the fork clean with a silly grin before handing that back, too. Elliot rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the amused snort as he began packing things up.

“Sorry we didn’t hang out more today,” Cameron said. “I kinda got caught up playing tag with Maxi—boy, that kid can run.”

Elliot shrugged, indifferent towards the matter. “Doesn't matter.”

Cameron hummed in response. Elliot stood up, his book bag only on one shoulder, and Cameron followed suit. A quick glance around the area told him that the rest of the group was already long-gone, leaving only the two of them.

“Thanks for coming by today,” Cameron said while they walked side-by-side back to the school building. He fiddled around with some of the pins on his messenger bag. “Man, I feel kinda guilty now, leaving you by yourself for most of lunch.”

“It was okay. It’s not like I was completely alone. Actually, while you were busy, Elena talked to me a little bit.”

“Really? Wow. I think it took her about a month to say anything to me after she first met me, and it was ‘pass the salt’,” Cameron mused. He rubbed his chin while in thought. “But I still kinda feel guilty. Makes me wish that lunch hour was an actual hour, you know?”

Elliot nodded in agreement as he thought over Cameron’s words. An idea jumped to mind. “If it bothers you that much, then do something about it. Are you busy after school today?”

Cameron heaved an exasperated sigh. “Kinda, sorta. I have to start a research paper tonight, and it’s my night to cook dinner, too.” He eyed Elliot, his expression brimming over with curiosity. “Why?”

Elliot paused, debating whether or not he should ask…but he gave in, finding himself too hopeful of a positive answer to let an opportunity slip by. “If you have a little time, would you want to come over after school?”

Cameron’s jaw dropped. “R-Really?!” When Elliot nodded, Cameron flashed a toothy grin that stretched from ear to ear. “I guess I could stop by for a little bit. Dinner can wait an hour. This is great! I don’t think I’ve ever been to your house before. I can’t wait!”

“Cool,” Elliot forced out, his own excitement shaking his nerves. His heart lurched when it hit him what he had just asked—and the fact that Cameron had agreed. “So, meet up after school?”

“Sure.” When they reached the nearest side entrance, Cameron pulled and held open the metal door open for the both of them. “How about we meet at the front entrance? Then we can, you know, just take it from there.”

Elliot sidestepped to give Cameron some room in the hallway and to avoid a few of the students that rushed by. “Yeah, that sounds good.” His heart skipped a beat at the unabashed grin the other boy displayed. “See you then?”

“You know it.” Cameron walked backwards a few steps, still grinning. “See you then!” He turned around and bounded down the hallway. The extra bounce to each step didn’t go unnoticed, nor was that excitement a private luxury—Elliot couldn’t help his own tiny smile as he walked to his next period, heart fluttering and constricting all at once at the very prospect of having Cameron over at his house in less than a few hours.

He couldn’t wait.


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At the end of the day, after the final bell had rung, Cameron threw all of his things inside of his messenger bag and bolted down the hallway for the front doors. He darted past people who seemed to really like to take their time, as well as people who appeared to stand still altogether within their protective groups. He almost bumped into one guy when he turned a corner, and he most definitely banged his leg off a garbage bin.

But none of that mattered. There was only one thing he was worrying about. And he needed to get to the planned meeting place before that one thing was possibly forgotten about and canceled.

Not only was he eager to get to see the inside of Elliot’s house, but after last night’s freak out, he was eager to show Elliot that he was still the same fun-loving, spunky guy that he was before. Maybe even more than eager. He didn’t want any of the ugliness he’d shown last night to ruin Elliot’s impression of him.

Cameron burst through the front doors of the school, his eyes immediately seeking out the dirty-blond haired boy, looking past the waves of moving bodies, and not even hearing the honking of horns or the rambunctious chatter swirling all around him. After a few seconds, Cameron huffed with impatience. If there was one thing Cameron didn’t like about uniforms, it was that it made looking for specific people that much more trying. Everyone looked too similar.

A group of people to his left moved. Any sense of impending frustration was relieved and forgotten when Cameron spotted Elliot relaxing against the brick wall beside the front doors.

Elliot looked over just as Cameron began heading in his direction. The confident-looking smile that crossed the boy’s features sent Cameron’s heart and mind into a frenzy. “Hey. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Cameron paused, letting Elliot pull away from the wall before they both started to walk away along the crowded pathway heading to the parking lot. “Did you drive today?” he asked over the dull roar of voices.

“Nope, I walked. You?”

“Drove.” Cameron fished his keys out of his pocket and dangled them in the air, the metal keys clacking against the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles* keychain that hung off the end. “Care for a drive?”

“Sure.”

Cameron inwardly jumped for joy as they walked over to his car—he remembered the last time they’d both been in his car, under less pleasant of circumstances. He could also recall how he'd been so sure that Elliot hadn’t liked him and would never like him…and yet there they both were. The thought made Cameron smile until it began to tire out and hurt his cheeks.

“What’s with the grin?” Elliot asked while sliding into his seat. Cameron shook his head as he got into the drivers seat.

“Nevermind,” Cameron replied, still grinning. “Just thinking.”

They both slammed the car doors shut. Once their belts were securely locked, Cameron started the engine and gripped the steering wheel. “Wow, doesn’t this feel familiar,” Cameron said with a light laugh.

Elliot shot him another look. “What?”

Again, Cameron shook his head. His giddiness was beginning to overwhelm him. It was too easy to smile and laugh at everything—it was like he was making up for lost time. “Nothing, nothing. Don’t mind me.” He still couldn’t believe that he’d actaully been invited over to Elliot’s house. There was something surreal about it, but he didn’t dare risk pinching himself and discovering that it was all too good to be true.

“Cameron?”

“Yeah?”

“You have an opening.”

“Right! Yeah.” Cameron leaned up in his seat and looked over his shoulder as he began to back the car out. “My bad.” He heard Elliot snort skeptically beside him but knew it to be good-natured.

No directions were needed for Cameron to find his way to Elliot’s block—well, a more accurate statement would be that not many directions were needed. After a few here and there, Cameron began to recognize familiar landmarks that he’d noticed the first time he’d driven Elliot home. Except this time, he was invited inside. Cameron had to suppress a whoop of delight.

Despite the lack of rain, Elliot’s street looked very much the same since he’d last seen it. No part had gone untouched from the late autumn’s influence, but just like every other street in their town, it clung to that certain air of superiority that Cameron was certain was beyond his comprehension. And when they pulled up into Elliot’s driveway, the car’s engine dying and the doors swinging open, Cameron was just as awed as he was the first time he’d seen Elliot’s grand-looking home.

“Cameron, coming?”

Cameron jolted to life. Nodding, he slammed the car door shut and darted after Elliot, who stood at the front door, digging out a set of keys to unlock the elaborately designed glass door. To Cameron’s amazement, Elliot wasn’t in a hurry to open the door. He wondered whether Elliot cared if his neighbors saw them or not.

The door clicked. Elliot pushed the door open with a slight turn of the golden door knob. Cameron poked his head in through the door, his eyes widening as he took it all in at once. Elliot stepped out of the way, giving Cameron proper room to enter.

“Whoa. Talk about fancy living. Like something from a magazine.” Cameron took slow, deliberate steps inside, his gaze roaming over every inch of what he could immediately see—simple, but expensive-looking furniture, a few artistically placed photos and paintings of various landscapes. Cameron peered into one doorway. If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, then there was also one hell of a TV just waiting to be adored. He turned to Elliot, hoping that he didn’t look as dumbfounded as he felt. “You really live here?”

“Yeah,” Elliot said while relieving his feet of their dress shoes. “Home, sweet home…”

Cameron caught the sardonic tone laced within those last few words, and frowned, suddenly feeling a little stupid for making such a big deal out of it. How could he forget? Elliot lived here alone most of the time—in a large, fancy, and lonely house—and when he wasn’t alone…

Cameron shoved away the negative thoughts, unwilling to let them tamper with his mood. Gotta think positive! “In any case, it’s pretty impressive,” Cameron said, eager to cheer up the mood. “I don’t know how you manage to keep it this clean but that’s amazing in and of itself.”

Elliot paused in the middle of untying the last shoe, and after a carefully measured moment, resumed the task. “…Thanks.”

Unlike Elliot, who seemed to take care in the task he was caught up in, Cameron pushed his own shoes off with two, rough shoves from the opposite foot and shoved them into a corner to wait with a small group of shoes. After doing so, a tiny meow floated by, yanking Cameron’s attention and pulling it towards the direction of the living room.

There, sitting at the corner of the doorway, sat a cat. And a rather fluffy one at that. Two yellow eyes peered at him from the middle of its face. Its entire body was covered in cinnamon-coloured fur, from the tips of its ears all the way to the very end of its tail.

It blinked up at Cameron with lethargic, unyielding eyes. Cameron blinked back. The cat meowed again.

“That’s Muffin,” Elliot explained, now standing beside Cameron. “She belongs to my mom.” As if in direct response, Muffin meowed again, a little louder this time.

“Awww, she’s adorable. I didn’t know you had a cat.” Cameron bent down on one knee and reached out a hand, making cooing sounds to encourage Muffin to draw nearer. Muffin stayed put, glued to her current spot. One ear twitched, followed by another long, drawn out meow.

Elliot crossed his arms and huffed. “She doesn’t like strangers. It usually takes her a long time before she’s willing to…” Elliot trailed off. To both the boys’ amazement, Muffin had pushed herself onto her paws, and approached Cameron’s outstretched hand. She sniffed, licked her nose, then sniffed his hand some more. Before long, Muffin began to aggressively rub her head against Cameron’s hand, demanding attention and affection. Cameron laughed and pet the cat, marveling at the softness of her fur, even when it clung to his white sleeve.

“I dunno. I kinda think she likes me,” Cameron replied while scratching Muffin behind her ear, making her eyes narrow to two golden slits as she leaned into the touch.

“…She’s probably just hungry, ” Elliot answered, but he didn’t sound too sure. He scratched his head and added, “On that note, are you hungry?”

“A little.”

“I’ll go get us a snack then.” Elliot turned and headed for the kitchen. “Living room's over there,” he called over his shoulder. “Make yourself at home.”

Cameron scooped Muffin up into his arms as he got up, allowing Muffin to adjust from the sudden change before moving. “Don’t mind if I do,” he answered, walking over to the room Elliot had directed him to. Even for a living room, it was still clean and tidy. If it weren’t for the lack of dust, Cameron would’ve thought that no one had stepped foot in there for ages.

Spying a black and silver TV remote on top of an organized pile of magazines, Cameron grabbed it and then collapsed onto the couch, relaxing into the soft cushions. “Let’s see what’s on today,” he said, making a face at Muffin, laughing when she placed a paw on Cameron’s chest to try and stop the small tremors in his body when he laughed.

After he’d channel surfed, pausing every now and then at odd commercials he stumbled across—could a babies diaper really be that absorbent and comfortable all at once?—when Elliot entered the room, carrying with him a transparent bowl of chips with him. He sat down, at least a cushion away, Cameron noted, and placed the bowl onto the coffee table.

“What’s on?”

“News and talk shows, mainly,” Cameron responded, lowering Muffin down onto his lap so that he could reach over and grab a handful of chips. Ooh, BBQ. Elliot had good taste.

“That’s…lovely.”

The channel surfing had ended up on a Talk show, and by the looks of things, it centered around a group of people who debated and argued over just about any topic that was brought up. A good ten minutes into the program, and Cameron couldn’t help but notice the slight grimace on Elliot’s face. Tilting his head, Cameron puckered out his lower lip and asked, “Not enjoying the show?”

“Not really. All they do is sit there and interrupt each other every five seconds, like they’re so certain of everything that they don’t need to hear what anyone else is saying. Pfft. Kinda hard to believe that people are that opinionated.”

Cameron snorted. “You mean you’re not?”

Elliot cast him a befuddled look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you seem pretty opinionated to me.”

With a roll of his eyes, Elliot said, “Oh yeah? Since when?”

Cameron hummed, searching his memory for references—it didn’t take long. “My club, for one. You were so damned sure that it was the worst thing in the world, that it was sheer blasphemy, and that anything we did was just pure ev—”

“Okay, okay,” Elliot groaned, snatching a few chips from the bowl and shoving them into his mouth. “Point made.”

Cameron chucked. He stroked Muffin's soft back, the vibration of her purrs tickling the palm of his hand. “Sorry, but it’s true. You are pretty bold and confident about your opinions.”

Elliot crossed his arms, one eyebrow raising. “You make it sound as if I’m like that about everything.”

It was Cameron’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Aren’t you?”

“No.”

“Really? Name something.”

“Well,” Elliot cleared his throat, “you, for one.”

Now that one Cameron hadn’t expected. It took him a moment to recollect his scattered thoughts. “But, you’re always confident,” Cameron blurted, dumbfounded.

“‘Always’?” Elliot repeated, as if the word were foreign to his tongue. “No way, that’s just inhuman. What gave you that impression?”

“Well…I dunno. Just you, I guess.” Cameron flushed at his poor response. But, really, it was just that simple. “You just seem so confident all of the time…” Like a cat that, while trapped in a corner, still refused to back down and stop hissing at the threat that had pushed it there.

Elliot shook his head. “I’m not always confident around you…I’m not sure what to feel half of the time.”

When the fact of the matter finally sunk in, Cameron rubbed the back of his neck and asked in a quiet voice, “So…you’re still unsure about all of this?”

It didn’t need to be said what Cameron meant. There was a second of hesitation before Elliot answered with, “I’m not sure…”

Cameron frowned. What in the world did that mean? Elliot was unsure about being unsure? But, just the night before, Elliot had said that he liked him back. Was he unsure of whether or not he wanted to go through with this anymore? The questions swept up a storm of confusion inside Cameron's head. There were far too many interpretations, and some of them he didn’t even dare let himself consider.

Cameron began to fidget with the hem of his sleeve, attempting to ignore his quivering nerves and rampaging thoughts. “Well...what stumps you the most?” he asked, hoping to help them both find some sort of answer.

“I dunno.” Elliot heaved a sigh and slumped down into the couch, head tilted back as he stared up at the ceiling. “The idea, I guess.”

“The idea?”

“Yeah. Like…” Elliot paused, then raked his hand through his hair with rough, frustrated fingers. “I always figured that I'd go to college, meet some girl, get married, start a family…and that’d be it—that’d be my life.”

“But…?”

“…But I can’t see any of that happening now,” Elliot finished, still staring at the ceiling, as if answers would rain from above.

Cameron gave into an uneasy chuckle. “Sorry to have derailed your plans.”

Elliot shook his head. “Don’t be...Actually,” he bit the corner of his lip, and his eyebrows knit together. "...You could say that, because of you, I realized that maybe that just wasn’t the path for me at all.”

“...Aw, shucks,” Cameron laughed, at a loss for words.

Elliot took a deep breath, then rolled his head to the side to gaze at Cameron through inquisitive eyes. “How do you deal?”

“Deal?”

“Yeah. Deal with…well…” Elliot coughed, a light blush reddening his cheeks and ears. “With being…well…”

“Gay?” Cameron supplied for him, surprised at how easily flustered Elliot appeared at the words very mention. “I don’t know—I don’t think I know anymore than you do. All that I do know is that I like you…” Despite his blush, Cameron fought his own nervous embarrassment and reached over with deliberate slowness to touch Elliot’s hand. As their hands touched, Elliot looked up into his eyes. Cameron almost looked away out of sheer vulnerability—but he didn’t. He didn’t want to.

“If that makes me gay," Cameron said while his heart pounded in his chest, "then fine. I’m gay. Simple as that, I guess.”

Elliot just nodded at Cameron’s words, his hand warm and still underneath Cameron’s. He let out a long and heavy exhale, his gaze lowering to where both of their hands met. “I don’t see how you can just say that…I mean, you get what it means to say that, right?”

Cameron shook his head. “I know—but I don’t care, so long as I’m able to like you.” Elliot’s eyes widened at that. Cameron erupted with laughter. Even now, after he’d admitted something that personal, he couldn’t keep himself from laughing.

Cameron caught the faint smile on Elliot’s features and fidgeted. “Sorry. That was lame-sounding,” he said in a quiet voice, “But, I did mean it…” He shifted a little on the couch, both Muffin and the hum of voices from the TV temporarily forgotten. He drew nearer to the other boy, his grin widening when Elliot tensed, the sudden shift in mood almost electric. “You know, you make it sound like being gay is a bad thing. You don’t like being with me?”

“…No. I like it,” Elliot whispered, eyes falling to watch Cameron’s lips as he spoke. Cameron nodded, his own eyes becoming half-lidded as he inched closer.

“Good,” Cameron breathed, “because so do I.” He closed his eyes and shortened the distance between them without a moment's hesitation. He met warm and willing lips in return. His insides twisted in excited squirms as they moved together, lips and breath mingling. Cameron sighed against Elliot, his hands reaching up to cup Elliot’s face. He pulled back to smile at the other boy. “That felt good, right?”

Elliot nodded hastily. His own hands slid around Cameron’s waist to hold him steadfast, where they lovingly caressed Cameron's hips. Elliot leaned forward and pulled Cameron into another electrifying kiss, the two of them sighing as their lips and tongues pressed and rubbed at their own leisure.

Cameron’s body felt like it was on fire from head to toe. But he didn’t care; he felt too good to care.

Elliot’s hands ceased their gentle caressing and began to trail a slow path up Cameron’s back. Cameron pulled back, shivered, then leaned into the sensual touch, allowing Elliot’s hands to press into the inward arch of his back. Even through his uniform, the intimate touch felt amazing.

“You have skilled hands,” Cameron murmured, repressing sudden laughter when Elliot cocked an eyebrow at him. Cameron shifted his position to the left, allowing the other boy more access at a more comfortable reach. Elliot’s hands moved; Cameron shivered again.

“Mmm, that feels good,” he breathed, pressing feather-light kisses along Elliot’s jaw.

A third touch was added, pressing right into his thigh. Cameron paused, dazed and stunned. How is he…what is…what? Cameron tore his eyes away and looked down. Muffin, with an annoyed glimmer in her eyes, pressed her paw into his thigh. He stared down at the cat, dumbfounded, while Elliot continued to kiss and caress him. Muffin continued to stare at him with undisguised tenacity. Cameron frowned. With a reluctant sigh, he murmured, “Elliot…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m…well, this is a little weird…”

Elliot paused, his lips still at Cameron’s jaw. “…Why?” he asked in a stiff, guarded voice.

“Your cat,” Cameron said. “She’s kinda staring at us.”

Elliot sighed, his breath hot against Cameron’s skin, and pulled away. He eyed Muffin with a stern, frustrated frown. “Crap,” he grumbled. “She must be really hungry…I haven’t fed her yet.”

Muffin meowed, confirming the observation, her tail giving a single swish before she meowed once more.

Cameron nodded, licking his lips. “Makes sense…” A thought occurred to him, and after some mental debate, he forced himself to ask, “What time is it?”

Elliot looked over them to the VCR across the room. “Almost five.”

Cameron sulked. “Damn. That sucks…I’d better get going—I really have to start that paper…and dinner, for that matter.” Pushing past his reluctance to move, Cameron forced himself back and on his feet. He straightened out his uniform, hoping that it didn’t look too wrinkled. The last thing he wanted to do was to give Cheryl physical evidence for her to probe and pester him about when he got home an hour late.

After shooting Muffin a criticizing look, Elliot got up as well and followed Cameron to the door.

“Thanks for having me over,” Cameron said after putting on his dress shoes. Elliot stood by the wall, arms crossed, with a glum expression on his face.

Cameron pouted. “Awww, don’t look so disappointed. It’s not like this is a one time thing.” He leaned over and planted a swift and soft kiss on Elliot’s lips, smiling when Elliot pressed back. The urge to just drop everything, push Elliot against the wall, and have a replay of the last five minutes tempted Cameron with sweet sounding imagery...but, reluctantly, he pulled back, the urge twisting into unwanted frustration instead.

He took a few steps back and gave a tiny wave to the hungry cat at the doorway. “Bye, Muffin.” He opened the front door, then turned to Elliot. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as light-heartedly as possible, without alluding to his own disappointment.

Elliot nodded. “Bye,” the boy murmured.

“Bye.” And with that, Cameron closed the door behind him, and made his way to his car.


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


It was only after the sound of the car engine faded away that Elliot allowed himself a long exhale. Muffin meowed in response, rubbing her head and ear against Elliot’s leg. Elliot shot her a stern look.

“Glutton,” he chastised. “You’re hungry all the time. You couldn’t have waited one more minute?”

Muffin licked her nose, her piercing gaze wavering between her owner’s son and the front door. Elliot's expression softened as he uncrossed his arms.

“Yeah...I didn’t want him to leave, either.”

Muffin just meowed.


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


To Be Continued