+Made For You 11 - BL+

Chapter 11: Damage and Repair



“Whoa, where’s the fire?” Cameron’s father said from the doorway as Cameron ripped apart his room. Cameron had looked under every piece of furniture and piece of clothing on the floor. He’d even rummaged through his dresser, but there was still no sign of it. What was once a semi-clean room now looked like a tornado had just hit it. Cameron was ready to tear down the walls and look there by the time his father had appeared in the doorway, where he now casually stood. “What’s up?”

“My keys,” Cameron grumbled. He ducked his head underneath his bed, prodding and searching every crevice available. Why today? The one day he lost them, and it had to be today. “I can’t find them.”

“Did you check your pocket?”

Cameron pulled himself out from underneath his bed and dusted himself off with a small frown. “Yeah.”

“Your school bag?”

“Yeah…”

His father hummed thoughtfully and leaned against the wooden doorway frame, his expression becoming befuddled. “Hmm. What about the car?”

“Yea—…No!” Of course! Why didn’t he think of that? There was a chance that he could’ve accidentally left them in the ignition last night. “Thanks!” His earlier panic was replaced with giddy relief as he bolted out of his room and down the stairs, his father chuckling from the doorway.

Down at the end of the hallway, Cheryl appeared around a corner as Cameron bent down to tie on his green Converse, still in her light blue SpongeBob pajama’s and tearing off a piece of buttered toast to eat. Her light brown hair, with a touch of orange to it's natural hue, was messily tied back into a bun, but a few curling strands fell over her shoulders anyway. “Where are you running off to so early in the morning?”

“The mall.”

Cheryl's light bue eyes flashed with suspicion. She took a large bite out of her toast and spoke around the food. “You? The mall? Okay, where is my brother and what have you done with him?”

“Oh, ha, ha. You’re hilarious Cheryl.” Once he was finished tying up his shoes, he got up from his knees and wiped away at any dirt that clung to his jeans. “I’m just going to go hang out with a friend.”

“A friend?” Cheryl repeated, sounding skeptical.

“Yes. A friend.” And that  wasn’t a lie. At the moment, they were just friends, although he hoped that by the end of the day it’d be something more. He caught Cheryl staring at him suspiciously. “What?”

Cheryl smiled around her toast as she took another bite. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

Cameron groaned. “How do you even know these things?”

“I’m a woman. I’ve got intuition.”

“More like suspicion,” Cameron said with a roll of his eyes. The sad part was that his suspicious sister really was onto something this time. But he couldn’t tell her that, much less anything else. There wasn’t even anything to tell yet. And the thought of telling her that it was a guy that occupied his thoughts and dreams didn’t seem all that tempting, either. “Cheryl, it’s really just a friend. And if I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.”

Cheryl sighed and finished off the last of her toast with a smack of her lips. “I don’t believe you. I’ve never seen you rush or panic over ‘just a friend’ before.” Cheryl yawned and stretched her arms high over her head before turning to go back into the living room to watch her Saturday morning cartoons. “Whatever. Have fun.”

Cameron watched his sister go into the living room before letting out a breath of air. He was thankful that she wasn’t pressing for answers, but he couldn’t neglect the fact that he was keeping someone so important to him a secret. Maybe if things worked out, he could tell her and his father later…?

Maybe.

Don’t even worry about that right now, he thought as he opened the front door. There are other things to think about.

When he entered the garage, he pressed his hands against the window of his car and peered inside.  Sure enough, there were his keys, safe and snug in the ignition. Cameron sighed, opened the door, and climbed in. A heavy wave of relief washed over him as he relaxed in the driver’s seat. He didn’t want to be late—couldn’t be late—when today was quite possibly his last chance to patch things up with Elliot. After the startling but welcomed phone call, he’d hastily taken a shower, shaved, and gotten dressed. And then, right in the middle of his adrenaline rush, he’d panicked when he couldn’t find his car keys.

Maybe it was a sign that they were already in the ignition, waiting patiently all night for him. Or maybe he’d just been too distraught last night and had forgotten them there. In any case, they were there, just as he was there. Ready and rearing to go.

Cameron pulled his dark gray seat belt over his chest, and when it made the audible click as it locked into place, everything became final. His fingers turned the metal key until the car hummed to life. He gripped the cool leather of the steering wheel in the palms of his clammy hands.

Hopefully, accidentally leaving the keys in the ignition was a good sign and not an omen…


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


Just like any typical Saturday, the mall was swarming with people, humming and buzzing with chatter and noise. Malls were the stereotypical social hangout, especially for adolescents who had nothing better to do with their time. But, one of the odd things about their town’s main mall, as Cameron noticed, was that most of the people who hung out at the mall seemed nearly all the same. Growing up in many different places, Cameron was used to seeing Hollywood stereotypes occupying the mall. Pompous preps, superficial jocks, angry goths, pretentious emo’s, and even some that no stereotype could truly describe. Cameron was used to seeing every extreme stereotype, no matter how ridiculous, mixed together like a bowl of mixed nuts.

But at this mall, everything seemed too blended. His eye would catch a few that didn’t quite blend into the crowd’s current, but even then they bore the same expressions. And though their clothes were colourful, they were dulled and lacked exuberance. Just like everyone else. As he walked along, he spotted a few people that somehow defied the crowd’s chosen current, even if it wasn’t in the most genius and original of ways. Crazy hair and outrageous clothes. But they were few in number, and they huddled together in small and protecting groups. Cameron hummed. What a strange mall. This truly was a small town.

As Cameron drew nearer to his destination it occurred to him that here, in this small town mall, he was separate from all of them. Alone.

But the thought of meeting Elliot here pushed aside the loneliness, and it filled him with hope.

When he finally walked into the Starbucks, he stood idly by the door and looked all around for any sign of the dirty-blond haired boy. Sure enough, Cameron spotted him sitting at a table at the other end of the store, sitting at a black table at the very edge of his seat. He was so easy to spot. Elliot looked like your average handsome guy. With the way he dressed, he could blend in well amongst the crowd…but something about him stood out naturally, even if Cameron didn’t know what that was. Cameron felt the familiar but ever powerful flurry of butterflies in his chest as he watched Elliot from afar. Elliot was staring blankly at a chestnut brown cup held tightly in his hands, his fingers poking and playing with the rounded sides of the white cover. Cameron gazed at him from the entrance; his feet frozen stuck to the ground, a foreign feeling overwhelming him. Just last night Elliot’s name had filled him with an unbearable anguish, the thought that after so many weeks of surreal and fragile joy, the other boy hadn’t wanted him, and that all of those tiny moments when he had thought differently had only been wishful thinking. All night he’d lain awake in his bed, cursing himself and his foolishness for ever having thought that forceful action could bring anything but unwanted consequences, before he’d finally fallen asleep early in the morning.

But this morning was different. When the sun rose, hope had risen with it, and some skeptical part of him couldn’t believe that they were both really here, finally ready to talk things through. No more running, no more doubts…

He wanted to shout out and grab Elliot’s attention. He wanted to grab it and never let go.

But, no matter how badly he wanted to just run on over and just jump into things; Cameron kept his excitement from taking over. He took a deep breath and went to go get a coffee to help keep himself calm instead. The air was heavy with sweet and bitter smells; all of them making him realize how thirsty he was. As he stood in the line-up and ordered a coffee, he couldn’t help but keep glancing back over his shoulder. So far, Elliot hadn’t noticed him. The urge to just shout out the other's name and grab his attention was almost overpowering, but he didn’t know what to shout. For once in his life, nothing instantly came to mind like it usually did, and by the time he’d thought of something, his order was ready. Grabbing his coffee, Cameron took one last calming breath before approaching Elliot’s table.

Even after he’d crossed the minimal amount of distance and finally stood beside the table, Elliot still hadn’t looked up, much less noticed anything going on around him. Was he that lost in thought? Cameron noisily cleared his throat. Elliot jumped to life with wide eyes, his hands clutching his coffee cup. He looked up and nearly gaped at Cameron, at a loss for words. Despite himself, Cameron smiled and sat down in the chair across from Elliot.

“Hey.”

Elliot hesitated. After a quick and shaky cough, he said, “Hey.”

“Did you wait long?”

“No.” Elliot looked back down at the cup in his hands again. Cameron went to take a drink of his own when he paused, noticing the slightest hint of shadow underneath Elliot’s eyes.

“Did you sleep last night?”

Elliot just shook his head slowly. Nodding, Cameron took a sip of his coffee, grimacing at the scalding heat as it hit the back of his mouth and down his throat. As bad as Cameron felt for Elliot looking so tired, it was reassuring to know that he wasn’t the only one who had trouble sleeping the night before. “So, you wanted to talk?”

Elliot nodded, still looking down.

“Okay. Well, here I am.” Cameron waited for a response, but Elliot remained quiet. Cameron blew some hair out of his eyes, suddenly feeling uneasy. “Here you are…here’s the coffee.” He spoke more for the comfort of hearing someone speak, wishing that the silence didn’t stretch on so long. He watched Elliot purse his lips into a tight line, then take a long, deep drink of his coffee. Cameron frowned. Maybe this was going to be harder than he originally thought.

“Okay,” Elliot breathed, as if preparing himself for the absolute worse. He finally looked up at Cameron, but his grip on the cup in his hands noticeably tightened. “I…wait, is that a Batman shirt?”

Cameron looked down at his shirt, then back at Elliot, confused. “Yes?”

Elliot stared at the shirt in sheer disbelief then shook his head, waking himself out of his stupor. “Okay. Cool. Anyway, about last night…” Elliot paused and scratched his head, eyebrows furrowing. “What happened was…it…ugh!” Cameron grimaced as Elliot roughly raked his fingers over his scalp like he was digging for answers, but after a moment he softly smiled and took another sip of his coffee while Elliot physically struggled for answers. If Elliot truly felt nothing at all for him, he wouldn’t have bothered to call him, much less talk to him like he was now. All of the effort made Cameron’s heart swell. It gave him a courage that fought the doubts and fear, and overcame them.

“I’m going to be blunt,” Cameron interrupted Elliot’s struggling. “I like you. There. Simple enough.” Or so it sounded. Anything sounded simple when put into words, even when words were limiting, unable to truly catch the exact feeling that currently fluttered inside. “...Do you like me?”

Elliot gazed at him, then slowly nodded with a slight look of confusion, as if the whole situation was confusing. Cameron only knew the feeling too well. Months ago, he never would’ve imagined liking another guy, but now that he did, when he thought about everything that’d happened, it only seemed too real. As confusing as it sounded when logic was applied, it felt like it made sense. And the thought that Elliot liked him back only made the feeling all the more sweeter.

“All right,” Cameron replied a tad shaky, but nonetheless exceedingly pleased. “So, what do you want to do about it?”

Elliot frowned. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve always thought I was…you know, straight. I still think that. But…I like you, too.” He bit the corner of his lower lip. “I really don’t know. What do we do?”

Cameron hummed. He took another sip of his coffee. “I guess we experiment.”

Elliot, who’d been in the middle of drinking his beverage, coughed and choked. He gawked at Cameron, a single drop of brown liquid clinging to his lower lip before he wiped it away with the back of his hand. “E—Experiment?” he repeated, as if uttering some horrible and permanent curse.

Cameron shrugged, but nodded his head. “Yeah. Experiment.” The word tasted strange on his tongue. He recalled the time, just earlier that week, when Maxi had said the very same word. The word still sounded shallow, even coming from his mouth. Experimenting was a game, something recreational. But his feelings weren’t a part of any game. Cameron had had his fair share of crushes in his seventeen years of life, but never had one felt so real. He wanted this to be real. However, when he saw the disquiet glistening in Elliot’s exhausted eyes, he knew that ‘experimenting’ was really all that he could hope for at this point. Until things became clearer. “You know…experiment?” Chuckles bubbled in Cameron’s chest as he repeated the shameful word, and they only got fiercer when he noticed that Elliot was still gaping at him. “I can’t explain it any easier than that. I think it’s pretty much self-explanatory.”

“I know what experimenting is,” Elliot mumbled under his breath, wetting his dry lips. Cameron watched Elliot’s pink tongue slip out of his mouth, temporarily distracted as he watched them slide across Elliot’s finely shaped lips, and then disappear back into the wet cavern of his mouth. He fell back to reality when Elliot added, “It’s just…experimenting?” The word sounded offensive and strange, even when Elliot’s smooth and charismatic voice said it. “Are you serious?”

“It can’t be that bad,” Cameron chuckled. Or so he hoped. “Hey, I’ve already kissed you. Multiple times if I recall.” Cameron raised his eyebrows when Elliot’s eyes widened exponentially. He hastily looked around for any eavesdroppers, panic flickering in his now wide-awake eyes. Cameron sighed. “What? I did. You were there.”

Elliot’s lips turned downwards and he narrowed his eyes. “Tell the whole world, why don’t you?” Elliot murmured, keeping his voice audibly low and private. His shoulders were tense, and the tension only got worse the longer he looked around for anyone who had overheard them. Cameron looked around. There didn’t seem to be anyone, though. Did lack of sleep always make Elliot paranoid?

“Why? Ashamed?”

“No, but gossip spreads like wildfire. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want rumors spread about me concerning this. Especially when nothing has even really happened yet.”

“Yet?” A smile lit up Cameron’s face and replaced his frown from moment ago. “You agree, then?”

Elliot pursed his lips again. “Will you keep it a secret if I say yes?”

…A secret? Another distasteful word. So dishonest. But, he was willing. More than willing. Anything for a chance to be with Elliot. “Sure. A secret.”

Elliot stared at him long and hard with soul-searching eyes before he finally nodded. “All right. I agree.”

Such beautiful words. Every ounce of tension that had collected over the past few months drained out of Cameron’s body. He let out long breath and slumped in his seat, resting his head on the back of the cool metal of his chair. He felt so relieved. Better than he’d felt in a long time. Every muscle in his body was wonderfully lax. After a moment’s bliss, he noticed Elliot eyeing him and grinned goofily, realizing how peculiar he must’ve looked at that moment. He could feel the back of his neck grow hot with embaressment. He sat up properly in his seat, still unable to hold back the sheepish smile spread wide across his face. “Great! Well, what do you want to do now?”

Elliot shrugged his shoulders and downed the rest of his drink. Underneath their tall and round black table, his leg was jiggling up and down with nervous energy. Cameron couldn’t tell if it was from the caffeine or the overall situation itself, or both.

“I kinda want to walk off some of this caffeine,” Elliot finally responded. “This is my third coffee this morning,” he explained, gesturing to the now empty coffee cup. “I haven’t slept in over more than twenty hours. If I don’t do something, I won’t be able to sleep at all tonight.”

Before Elliot could say anything more, Cameron was already getting up from his seat and pushing his chair underneath the table. When Elliot made no move to get up, Cameron arched and eyebrow and crossed his arms.

“C’mon, you said you wanted to walk it off. So, let’s go be mall rats and walk around like we have nothing better to do.”

With a sigh, Elliot complied and got up from his seat. As they walked out of Starbucks and tossed out their empty cardboard cups, Cameron couldn’t help but smile as he heard Elliot murmur aloud, “Mall rats…?”


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


They walked aimlessly around the mall for a good hour. Side by side, yet there was noticeably an invisible wall between, always keeping them a few inches apart and never any closer. Whether they were just walking around or browsing in some store, Cameron’s gaze always deterred, peeking at Elliot whenever an opportunity presented itself ripe for the taking.

Elliot looked completely out of his element.

Even his movements held some unnatural stiffness that just didn’t become his natural grace. The idea that maybe Cameron was to blame for his mute awkwardness constricted his heart, but it only made him more determined to help Elliot loosen up. If they could hang out like friends like in the past few weeks, then he was certain that they could move on from there much more easily.

Cameron finalized his plan when they drifted into an extremely over decorated store. Through the shelves and racks, that were just brimming over with horrendously crazy accessories and clothing, Cameron immediately spotted a rack of patterned hats. A royal blue hat with bold purple and yellow stripes caught his curiosity. It was an odd combination of colours, but odd was what Cameron aimed for. Leaving Elliot as he arched an eyebrow quizzically at a shelf full of strangely patterned ties, Cameron quickly grabbed the hat off the rack and hid it behind his back as he approached Elliot from behind. He couldn’t help the playful grin or the excitement that sparked inside as he snuck up from behind. So far, so good. Elliot hadn’t noticed him yet.

Elliot pulled one of the ties off of the rack, one that was patterned with bouncy and bright bubbles, and snorted. “Who in their right mind would wear any of this cra—”

Cameron launched his attack, quickly shoving the hat on top of Elliot’s head and cutting off his sentence. He was still grinning even as Elliot slowly turned around and gave him a look that clearly asked ‘and just what do you think you’re doing?’. But that didn’t hinder Cameron’s determination. He was already yanking a nearby tie off of the rack behind Elliot; a brightly coloured one of baby lion cubs, and wrapping it around Elliot’s neck.

“What are you’re doing?” Elliot asked after a moment of staring incredulously at the tie. Cameron only smiled. He eyed the store for any more random and mismatching accessories he could add to his growing masterpiece. The next thing he knew, he was dragging Elliot around the store, grabbing anything that instantly caught his eye. Buttons with catchy phrases and bratty animals, obnoxiously glittering necklaces, and even a bag so pink it almost hurt to look at it. With each newly added accessory, Cameron quickly peeked at Elliot’s expression, eager for his reaction. He didn’t look so pleased, but if he was really displeased, wouldn’t he have just made a scene and torn all of the stuff off?

When Cameron was finished, he put his hands on Elliot’s back and shoved him into the direction of the store’s mirror, only meeting a little resistance before Elliot gave in and walked on his own accord. They both gazed into their reflection. His grin widened. Elliot looked ridiculous. Like a walking Christmas tree of glittering neon colour. The joy was only intensified when Elliot huffed. The hat on his head fell forward a tad, a light shadow sweeping across his eyes and nose as it did.

Cameron walked around so that he stood beside Elliot, his arms crossed as he admired his creation. “What do you think?”

“I look like a rainbow vomited all over me,” Elliot said in a low, bemused voice. His face scrunched up a little as he began to poke and prod at the hideous accessories. “I look fucking ridiculous.”

“Ah. I’ve done it again.” Cameron rubbed his hands together and laughed when Elliot’s jaw clenched. “Can’t you see? I’m an artistic genius! The olive green bracelets and purple hat really bring out your…eyes? Is that what they say?”

Elliot groaned in response. Without wasting another second he began to pull the accessories off of him. Still laughing, Cameron helped, starting with pulling the bracelets off of his free hand. But he wasn’t really paying attention to the bracelets. He was much more focused on those few sweet seconds where he had a reason to touch Elliot’s soft skin.

So much for helping him relax, Cameron thought idly as he unbuttoned some of the buttons he’d attached to the other boys shirt, dropping them in the bin nearby where he’d gotten them. Elliot didn’t seem any more relaxed than earlier. All that effort for nothing.

A rough weight on his head silenced his thoughts. Cameron blinked and looked up. Elliot was a few feet away, putting the majority of the accessories back where they belonged. Cameron touched his head where he’d felt the weight and felt smooth fabric instead of hair. Elliot had put the hat on his head.

When Elliot turned back around and faced Cameron, he noticed his questioning expression and shrugged, looking away again. “You got all quiet on me.” He hung up some of the crazily coloured bracelets back on their rack. “One minute you won’t shut up, and the next you’re super quiet? Is it the coffee that makes you act all weird?” He gestured to the last bits of accessories still on him to emphasize his point.

Cameron raised an eyebrow and was about to comment when he stopped. Despite how mean the words could be taken, the tone wasn’t. Was Elliot loosening up? A smirk tugged at Cameron’s lips. Success! He tilted the hat on his head to the side and struck a pose, turning his eyebrows upwards as he asked in a quiet, high pitched voice, “Does this hat make me look fat?”

Elliot did a double take. “What?”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Cameron pouted and turned to look in the mirror. “Oh, I can never show my face in public ever again!” He forced the words through his laughter, hardly believing himself and Elliot’s stupefied expression. After the strongest of the laughter had passed, Cameron rolled his eyes and said in his normal voice, “Relax. I was just joking.”

Elliot snorted. “I certainly hope so. What a thing to say.”

Cameron grinned and slowly approached Elliot, noticing how the other tensed as he drew nearer. Another thought occurred to him. Perhaps the tension wasn’t Elliot’s displeasure for spending time with him, or the overall situation. Maybe he was just nervous. “So…it’s true then?” He asked in a low voice.

Elliot locked eyes with Cameron. “Is what true?”

Cameron gazed back into Elliot’s eyes, and he swallowed thickly. It was almost scary to look straight into Elliot’s eyes, but he couldn’t look away. It occurred to him that a minute had probably slipped by. His heart fluttered uncontrollably. In an instant he slipped back into his comedic grin, shrugging off the serious atmosphere with ease. “So it does make me look fat?”

Elliot threw back his head and groaned while Cameron burst out into laughter. With narrowed eyes he reached over and grabbed the hat off of Cameron’s head, mumbling something along the lines of, “You’re a strange one, Cameron.” He hung the hat back on its proper rack with the rest.

“What’s wrong with being strange?”

“I don’t know,” said Elliot, before a hint of a smirk touched his lips, and added, “Everything.”

Cameron snorted. “Everything?”

“Mmhmm. Everything.”

“Hey, I can’t help my upbringing. I grew up like this,” Cameron replied. “What’s your excuse?” The moment those words came out, Cameron noticed Elliot stiffen. He eyed Cameron with a raised eyebrow, his jaw clenched. Cameron grimaced. Why did Elliot look so bitter?

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing."

Sure didn't sound like nothing. Cameron frowned. Why such a suden mood swing? "Was it something I said?" Cameron's eyes widened. Something in his head clicked. “Oh! Shit. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it like that. I was just kidding around, honest!”

Elliot just shrugged. “Whatever.”

That…didn’t sound too reassuring. Cameron rubbed the back of his neck, guilt writhing inside of him like a struggling worm. He knew that parents were a sensitive subject with Elliot. He couldn’t believe he’d just said that to him, even if he hadn’t meant it to sound so thoughtless. 'What's your excuse?' Ugh! I can't believe I just said that to him! And after everything was going so well...!

Elliot shoved his hands into his pockets, and without another word, began to leave the store. Cameron quickly took off after him, calling out to him to slow down, his guilt pushing the muscles in his legs as he replayed the entire scene over and over in his head, cursing himself for being so thoughtless.

“I’m sorry,” He repeated, a little out of breath when he finally caught up to him. Elliot sure did walk fast. “I’m really, really, really sorry!”

Elliot shook his head and said in a distant voice, “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“You sound mad.”

Elliot rolled his eyes. “I’m not mad. I’m sleep deprived and stressed.”

“Oh.” They were getting closer to the mall exit. They were now bypassing a few stories, and a few tiny groups of people who chattered loudly. Cameron could make out some of the details of the cars parked outside now. “Well, despite being uber tired and stressed, did you at least like hanging out?” Please say yes, please say yes.

Elliot glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and snorted. But it didn’t sound bitter or mean. If anything, he sounded a little amused now. “Yeah. Except for playing ‘dress-up’.”

“Yeah, right. You liked it,” Cameron retorted, and when he heard Elliot stifle a faint chuckle, he snatched the opportunity to turn the tables and fix things before the morning was over. “C’mon. You know you did.”

“As if,” Elliot snorted. He held open the door to the outside and waited until Cameron walked through before he let it shut behind them. “More like you liked playing designer.”

“Oh no, I’ve been discovered. My one secret!” Cameron joked, feigning horror as the autumn wind tossed his rusty orange hair about. To his delight, a small smile graced Elliot lips. Such a gorgeous smile…it really was a shame that he didn’t smile more often. “Please don’t blackmail me.”

With a light chuckle, Elliot shook his head at Cameron’s silliness. “I’ll think about it.”

They walked along the side of the pavement, a few cars passing them by until Elliot stopped and began to walk toward a particular lane of cars amidst the maze of navy blue, dark red, and gray that shined in the early morning sun. Cameron’s car was on the other side of the parking lot, but he didn’t want to leave Elliot’s side just yet. He wanted every second that he could get. When his eye caught Elliot’s hand digging into his pocket to fetch his key, he realized that their time together for the day was running out, and there were still some things he wanted to know.

That, and Elliot had a really nice ass.

“Are you going to hang out with the group again on Monday?”

“If you want.”

“Well, yeah. Of course I want that.” Cameron looked away, suddenly feeling a tad too vulnerable. He looked up at the light blue autumn sky and the few thin wisps of clouds. “Will you really come?”

“Sure.” Elliot replied, although he sounded a little distant again. Not upset or angry, just…distant. Like his mind was faraway, lost, and Cameron had no way of reaching him. He wondered what Elliot was thinking about. The corners of his mouth turned down. He couldn’t believe that their time together for the day was already ending. It didn’t feel like enough. But Elliot looked so tired, and even burdened, like there was something else that he was neglecting to talk about. Cameron remembered how Elliot had sat at the table at Star Bucks, completely zoned out to the point that he didn’t even notice that he’d arrived. Was Elliot really just tired and stressed?

The sound of the car door opening brought Cameron out of his thoughts. To his surprise, Elliot wasn’t in his car, preparing to leave. He was leaning against the side of his car with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. He had that look again, too. The kind of look he got when he was trying to decipher something he couldn’t quite grasp.

“You’re all quiet again.”

Cameron shrugged. “I know. I didn’t sleep so well last night, either. Too much to think about.”

“I know the feeling.”

Cameron diverted his eyes elsewhere. He felt awkward standing there, yet blessed at the same time. Being around Elliot always gave him weird feelings. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so much like a teenager around girls before. Only Elliot had this effect on him. “You should go get some sleep. You look really tired.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Elliot nod in agreement. “Um, Elliot?”

“Hmm?”

Cameron rubbed the back of his neck, eyes glued to the pavement. An embarrassing heat filled his freckled cheeks. “I’m glad you called. Like, really glad.” His blush intensified. ‘Really glad’? Ugh! That sounded horrendously adolescent…but, it was the truth. Even if it sounded corny. Why did the words ‘TV Drama’ come to mind? “Wow, that sounds pretty lame, huh?”

Elliot snorted, but his small smile reappeared, the very same charming smile that made Cameron’s knees feel weak and wobbly, and the sun just a little too hot on his skin. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t say or do weird things,” said Elliot with a roll of his eyes. “Anyways, I’ll be back to my old self after a good night's sleep. I think a quiet weekend alone is what I need the most right now. After I take care of some stuff. So, I'll see you Monday?”

A goofy grin spread wide across Cameron’s face, so wide and happy that it almost hurt. “You know it.”

Elliot nodded and went to climb into his car, then paused. He looked at Cameron, then around the parking lot, searching for something. Cameron raised his eyebrows and in the midst of curiosity looked around, wondering what Elliot was looking for. He saw nothing but cars gleaming in the sunlight, looking oddly warm for being metal on wheels. Huh. Maybe fatigue and copious amounts of caffeine really did make Elliot paranoid.

Cameron became increasingly aware of a body close to him, warm and strong, just mere centimeters away from him. When he turned back around, he met a pair of soft, gently pressing lips.

His mind went blank.

Just as quickly as it was initiated, it ended, Elliot quickly pulling back with almost panicked speed. Cameron blinked. His mind was still fuzzy and his lips still tingled from the chaste contact. Elliot cleared his throat and looked away, the wind gently raking invisible fingers through his messy hair.

“You looked a little disappointed,” Elliot explained, then cleared his throat again. Almost awkwardly, he climbed into his car. “See you later?”

Still a little stupefied, all Cameron could say in a baffled voice was, “Yeah. Later.” A moment later, the mechanical growl of the car turning on, pulling out, then finally driving down the road registered into Cameron’s head, but his mind was still stuck in the moment when Elliot had kissed him. And in public! It’d been chaste, but it was still a kiss! And, even better, a kiss that he didn’t have to initiate. Glory of all glories!

When Cameron was absolutely sure that Elliot was long gone, he allowed himself to burst out into a little jig, unable to contain the fit of joy that thrashed inside. Things really were looking up! The sun was bright and warm, the sky was blue, and he got a kiss!

Cameron stopped in the middle of dancing when he turned around and became aware of a woman that stood only a few feet away and stared at him with wide and alarmed eyes. The baby in her stroller was giggling madly, pointing and smiling unabashedly. Grinning sheepishly, Cameron bowed towards his audience, then began to walk across the parking lot towards his own car with an extra kick to his step. His mind drifted back to the chaste kiss. He ached for more.

He couldn’t wait for Monday. He wished it weren’t so far away…


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


The curt ringing of a phone woke Elliot from his light doze. He squinted at the clock on the VCR underneath the DVD player, groaning when the time finally registered in his sleep-hazed mind. Who the hell called at midnight? Leaning over the arm of the cream-white couch, Elliot grabbed the black phone off the receiver on the small side-table and grumbled, “Make this quick.”

“Someone sounds sleepy. Did I wake you up?”

Elliot yawned. Of course. Who else but The President? “Yeah, actually. What do you want? It’s a little late to be calling, don’t you think?” He couldn’t help the sardonic tone that callously underlined each word. He hadn’t had a proper sleep in over more than twenty-four hours. He was tired, damnit.

“Just calling to make sure you’re okay.”

Elliot blinked away the sleep that tugged at his eyelids. He sat up, now wide-awake. He knew that tone. The President hadn’t just called for a quick chat. He’d called for a reason. An important one, no doubt.

“What did you hear?”

“Just some things. I take it that I should have called into work sick and gone to the party?”

Elliot frowned, already becoming weary with endless guilt. He felt dirty again. “Kenneth…”

“She just called me. You do realize that there are consequences for every action, right?”

“Yes, of course!” Elliot snapped. To think that for a short time, his light doze had saved him from the suffocating shame that now pooled at the very bottom of his stomach. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It just sort of…did.”

“What did she tell you?”

“…She told me she was fine.”

There were a few dark chuckles on the other end of the phone. “Of course,” The President sighed. “I take it that you understand that she’s not fine, right?”

Elliot dragged his fingertips through his sleep muddled hair. “Yeah.” Even his voice felt thick with shame, awkward compared to The President’s smooth and even voice. He wished he could be so calm about things like him. The President could take just about everything in stride, whereas Elliot found it hard just to breathe. The situation suffocated him. It was all too much. He didn’t even know where to begin to fix anything. “I should call her again,” he thought aloud. He had to at least try and do something about all of this. “I could—”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll only make things worse. You two already had a chance to discuss what happened. For now, leave it at that.&# Do you really think that she’d want to talk to you now? Not even a day after you two talked?"

“…I guess not,” Elliot mumbled, his shoulders slumping. Of course. He hadn’t thought of that. He felt even worse now. Trust The President to keep him from fucking things up even more. Elliot leaned back against the couch and closed his strained eyes. The house was so dark and quiet right now, as if nothing inhabited it. Even The President was quiet on the other end. Elliot opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, only able to make out the faint outline of the ceiling fan in the dark. He hadn’t meant for things to be like this. He didn’t want things to be like this. He’d called her that afternoon to set things right again, not send her through hell. It'd been a mistake, a mistake that'd hurt the both of them. She'd responded well over the phone, said something like "It doesn't matter" before their awkward hang up. But nevertheless, he’d fucked up, and the thought of her sobbing on the phone to The President was more than just disheartening. “When she said she needed space, I didn’t think she was hurting that bad," he said lowly into the phone.

The President was quiet. After another sigh, he said, “Knowing her and why she needs space, she’s probably going to need space for a long time.”

Elliot frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

There was a pause on the other end, then, “Never mind. It’s nothing you should concern yourself over. Things will fix themselves, I’m sure. Well, it’s getting late. I should let you go now. Let you catch your beauty sleep. Okay?”

No. No, it wasn’t okay, Elliot wanted to protest. He wanted The President to stop playing mind games and tell him what he was keeping so snug away. Didn’t he think that he could handle whatever it was he wasn’t telling? How could he fix what he’d broken if he only knew half of the important facts?

But he didn’t protest. He just couldn’t. He opened his mouth to do so, but nothing came out. He just couldn’t demand it. He’d done enough damage demanding things from people already. With the guilt hanging over his head and showering constant reminders of that particular night, all he wanted to do now was sleep. Sleep and forget. It had been a long weekend. Too long.

“Fine. Good night.”

“Good Night. Talk to you later, Elliot.” The phone on the other end hung up. After some reluctance, Elliot hung up, too. He lay back down on the couch, too drained to make the short trek to his room and his bed. The couch would do fine for the night. Besides, it wasn’t as if there was anyone home to scold him for sleeping on the couch, anyway. No one was even home.

He stared at the glowing numbers on the VCR and watched three long, guilt-ridden hours pass before he finally slipped into a restless sleep.


~+~+~+~+~+~+~


To Be Continued